Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

Remember those times I promised you a Dominion T-shirt, when we get them, for doing some service for us - one most of you didn‘t do?

WE GOT SWAG! Winter’s here and those of you that could’ve shown your loyalty are now left free-shirtless to endure chest colds, shivered timbers and needle nips.

Awww … they’re so warm too. Really, I’m wearing seven right now, but one would be enough. You could buy one now … or get some FREE BOOTY!! … or at least clothing for it.

Submit original designs/art to be emblazoned upon our gear here, post a link in the comments below or send them to dominus@dadominion.com. They will be judged by the High Citizens of our forums (those with titles, but the weeded ones could judge as well) . For every design chosen to be worthy , the designer will receive one item of less than $30 value from our Café Press store to receive for free!

Your artwork will also be showcased for all on this the main podium of Truth blog site to be Dugg, Stumbled and given other net love along with a link to your design site or portfolio. Art Themes - a few of the thousand words your art should symbolize in representing us:

“Sharp humor for a dull world.”

“Guy Greed”

“Your Dominus”

“Hunin, the Raven”

“Dominion Cast: Podcast of Power”

“Scaling Mount Uber”

You may also choose any blog quote of mine that inspires you.

[quickly spoken small print] Submissions must be ORIGINAL art - plagiarists will be made to eat raw haggis as well as face standard legal action. Family relations of Dominus Digga or Tribune Hunin may not enter. Contest void outside of the continental United States, we love our global readers - but not enough to pay for that much postage. Art will be accepted as pictures only. Excrement statues, Tie dye swaths or macaroni sculptures will not be considered and may make you an enemy of good taste in general. Submissions will become the property Da Dominion and Mythic Group - even if it sucks. We are not responsible for any eye strain inflicted reading this. [/quickly spoken small print]

Submissions will be open until December 18, 2008. Get to doodle’in!

I would do an ordinary “Best Bond” list survey, but we all know it’s fuck’in Sean Connery.

It’s not? Do you feel numbness on the left side of your body? Taste copper? A picture of Roger Moore gives you severe priapism? Don’t vote, see a doctor … a specialist.

The rest of you, choose the Bond actor that best carries on the 007 tradition in “schmooth Connaree fashun”:

George Lazenby

Roger Moore

Timothy Dalton

Pierce Brosnan

Vote here

Bond purists will ask about David Niven, from his portrayl of the old ass original Sir James Bond in Casino Royale. The 1967 version IS NOT a James Bond movie - but a satirical spoof of a Ian Fleming novel. Peter Sellers walked out on it, his opinion is good enough for me.

Daniel Craig is too immature to be considered. This Saturday I’ll be seeing the uber anticipated Quantum of Solace for review on Monday. I don’t read non-Dominion approved reviews - especially early ones, but just the title has me amped. If not the codename for some gimmicky McGuffin, Quantum of Solace means when broken down something akin to “the smallest possible measure of peace.”

I’ve been abstaining from caffiene all week to prevent getting ejected from the theatre for rock’in a nerdgasm. I’ll grab extra snack counter napkins just in case.

I guess executive order number one of our prez-elect was, “Get some moe Brothas on da TV!” since we Obamans now have the embarrassment of riches that is this two new Black comics with shows - and not even on BET!!!

“We shall oh-ver-cuh-uh-um”

First is David Allen Grier’s Chocolate News on Comedy Central, basically another skit show that will fail to fill the gap left by Chappelle. Grier (DAG - like RDA, but Black and UN-awesome) was never one of my favorites on In Living Color like Damon Wayans, Jim Carrey or Jamie Foxx. Despite being a homie from Detroit, he’s from East Detroit, the Dominion is West side. Yes, it’s not just something rappers bark about in their songs - there‘s a subtle cultural difference: they wack . His all weather character fallback is what I call the Original recipe Negro, aka Fred Sanford the junk dealer and all his greasy old sidekicks like Grady and Bubba. When not doing heart attack or diabetes jokes in this guise, he’s in chickenhead drag.

Even in his commentator role he‘s still audaciously Blacktifide times two:

Shouting mostly urban-accented valid opinions interspersed with unnecessary swearing and feigned indignation = real Black comedy, GODDAMNIT! With the South Park lead in on Wednesdays, he’ll make it as long as Mind of Mencia maybe. To be an independent success, I’d start looking for a more ensemble cast. All his old friends are beyond this show, but Tommy Lee Davison is available - or dead. I don‘t know; who‘s seen him lately?

D. L. Hughley Breaks the News is the other show I refer to. One of my favorite Kings of Comedy that is sadly not allowed to be a comedian. His new role is funny CNN pundit show host looking at current events through the eyes of our community - like a Bill Maher that dates fewer Black women and smokes less weed. Unlike DAG, Hughley is more than ready for this role: One sitcom, many appearances on news shows, protested over the Imus affair, guest of the Late Late Show many times before they outsourced the hosting to Scotland, host SOB the most respectable show on BET, being on the cast of an Aaron Sorkin show alone counts as a B.A. in Poli-Sci from Columbia.

He’s a good host on a passable news show:

Looking for the satirical superiority of Stewart and Colbert or the cute witr of Rachel Maddow, CNN is going for it’s own uppity version of Chocolate News. The main issue is that the show tries to be funny with bits that go over only half the time, if you feel ticklish … And generous.  D.L. can work clean but I get the feeling that Hughley hasn’t quite gelled with his writing staff yet. A sketch with George Washington being told a black was now President was more drab than Tatooine (colorful humor). Only time can tell for Hughley, but as a more Coq au Vin recipe Obaman - bourgeois to the Original recipe, actually “booshee” so they can unnerstan - I’m hopeful for some African-American intellect to be showcased. From his choice of guests, he’s on the right track.

Can we vote for real change in our country? Yes we can. Can we get comical insight and/or insightful comedy from our community on mainstream TV? Uh… maybe?

Had I a video clip of what you were imagining, I’d sell it to the media and retire. I don’t, so the writing continues.

The match up is conservative columnist blogger (the title on her seems to devalue us all) Michelle Malkin and progressive news host Rachel Maddow. Donning the banner of amateur journalist, I freely admit my bias before judgment: Michelle Malkin is hot as fuck!

Before you liberal lady readers hit the browser back button and move to delete this page from your favorites, remember that this is not an opinion as you understand it and forgive me - much the way you would excuse your dog for curiously sniffing at garbage. It is simple Y chromosome hardwiring that says that a tan-skinned big mouthed Filipina possess more suitable genes for mating than the lesbian host of the MSNBC show I love so much.

Here comes the gender redeeming magic:

Eeew. Plain ugly. (ASIDE: I Freudian typed “Palin ugly” here in a feat of associative serendipity) See, it doesn’t pay to be polite on Fox. Dr. Hill’s little comment on him being a hero promptly brought on Malkin’s patented eye flare. Jarring enough to give her man McCain flashbacks of his own trial of heroism, the same expression a snake makes when spotting a fat mouse, this an expression of annoyance at being taken off stride - notice she stammers a bit before returning to her preprogrammed Fox News attack kata.

Calling it a “kata” isn’t racist, since that’s a Japanese term and she is not. This is racist:

Vietnamese joke? Nope. The voice is that of a World War II Filipino dance hall girl - READ YOUR HISTORY! Malkin did, and is a supporter of the Japanese-American internment of that time. That was for my Nipponese citizens, Do itashi mashite.

She tried to conflate Brook’s valid observance into hatred of the troops and Hill picked it up easy and batted it down by pointing out “That’s spin! This is the No Spin Zone!” This shut her down and she could only make that uber-patriotic platitude but the cold look on her face after uttering thanks to Dr. Hill said to me, “Next time, mafucka. Next time.” It was hard to find a more recent clip of Malkin gnawing at someone elses dignity. Perhaps because Fox recently leaves her to be only consulted by their other talking heads - the eye flair is murder for ratings. Ever see her and Ann Coulter on the same show? Could she be Coulter in a woman suit?

Exhibit B: a guest accusing her of fluff journalism essentially ambushes Rachel Maddow. David Frum is former speech writ … word-maker for Bush II; and though the Texan fumbled through them, their author is no rhetorical lightweight.

“False equivalence”, the elegant edge she threatened him with for more than half the exchange, Frum knew her snarky remarks about Palin and McCain couldn’t be equated to “BOMB OBAMA!” from anti-elitists. He excused McCain of guilt but she stuck with the ipoint that as supposed party leader he had the responsibility to raise level of the discussion with his followers.

He rallies to ask why Rachel doesn’t have conservatives on to speak for themselves. Her paraphrased response: “Because they’re chicken shit!” All Frum could do was politely nod after failing to trigger a Fox response: shouting you’re a liar, cutting your mic, threatening you with a luffa. Maddow took the elitist progressive liberal high ground reply of simply admitting her disagreement.

From this, we conclude in opposition to our built in masculine objectification with a statement Maddow and Malkin may equally find sexist: Rachel Maddow is one sexy bitch.

Happened upon this from Advisor Anson, non-citzen panelists from the Reading and Media Casts - Mr. “That’s not sub-Saharan!”

At first I laughed hard, despite having been in similar circumstances in the early 90’s. The double edged sword of having a writer’s vocabulary was finding rhymes for big exotic terms:
“DJ, kick that shit!
…
Check it out, check it out! …
Yo …
I spit perspicacious …
with these words outrageous …
best back the fuck up, I’m fuck’in sick like contagious!”

See? The the meter’s messed up with those SAT prep terms. Getting off beat slightly only snowballs anxiety, making the flow harder. Then, you just babbling and might as well have wack muthafucka embroidered on your backpack. Shorties cheer’in for want to “just be friends” - embittering enough to make the adult version of that kid write a blog for validation!

May have been projecting on poor Eli. Then I took a good look at dudes head and wonder if he was microcephalic. If he is, or generally slow, all the more props for giving it a second try and not backing down.

Still … ROTFLM-Black-AO!!11!!strong>