Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

A few months ago the trailer for Watchman dropped and every comic geek I know creamed themselves over what it promised: the grittiest most original comic movie in a generation of excellent films in the genre. So adoring was their relentless felatio, I had to check out the graphic novel for myself.

Was it clear that they were felating the advertisement - and not I? Had it been me, out of respect for their … fanatical gender-bending enthusiasm, I’d have finished it by now - instead of being on the last chapter - plus have written on it several times as well. Since this wasn’t the case (thankfully, glory holes are so impersonal) I’ll merely say that so far Watchman is interesting and I‘ll likely see the movie whenever it comes out.

I’m making you squeamish to make this point: I saw this trailer before the Quantum of Solace …

Yeah … I’ll let you Trekkies clean up after that nerdgasm. No shame. I’m typing this in a towel with my pants in the hamper and drinking green Gatorade - while pretending it‘s Aldebaran whisky.

Looks packed with action out the gills but the characterization of Kirk and Spock seems most intriguing. I’ve never really wondered how two opposite dudes could become such great buds. One a brash human that deserves a triple ass whup’in for destroying that vintage Corvette - or Mustang, I’m no motor head car geek - and the other a half alien recluse smart ass that’s stronger than you and three friends. The car can be forgiven since they don’t value money - but fuck, it‘s five-century-old mint! If the story line involves Kirk getting Spock laid through his first Pon Farr that could work but would be inanely sophomoric.

More than likely these tattooed bad guys (retro Klingons?) have driven the stakes so high both must bond over their duty to Starfleet and perhaps Captain Pike. Sylar is looking good as young Spock, but Zoe Saldana looks a little slender to be Uhura. I guess several more years of red bean cubes and yellow cornbread wedges could give her the signature thickness we‘ve come to expect from the first hot sistah on TV. Young Jimmy Kirk looks at bit too pretty for my tastes but fuck it - he’s just got to overreact and be awesome.

I’ve said I liked Cloverfield, and am not a fan of giant monsters that come from nowhere, the parasites they carry nor vomit inducing shaky handed camera operation. These Trek prequels look to overcome the issues Star Wars had: a leapt to conclusion fueled only by avid fan boy optimism. Abrams - or whoever the hell edited this trailer - did their job and I’m MANICALLY pumped for May 9th, 2009.

*swaps out Gatorade for Captain Morgan’s* Cheers!

Another five months, another Futurama movie - at this rate we’ll have the much demanded fifth season in four months. Perhaps, Fox will resurrect the show a la Family Guy to the cacophonous cheers of geekdom. This can be great, or merely … nice, depending on the quality delivered.

Bender’s Game’s says what it is on the box: a sci-fi favorite diving into fantasy for a hilarious romp through a D&D-esque world. First they guest star Gary “Lord of Nerds” Gygax in the series, now they pay full homage to his memory by glorifying his life’s work. Double-decker Win cake with a gooey filling of awesome sauce, right? This story however doesn’t really start until half way through the feature.

The first sixty-odd minutes features a main plot about battling the domination of the mega mogul Mom with a B story about Leela’s anger issues and a tertiary bit about Bender exploring his new imagination thorough an old school tabletop fantasy game. Does this sound like the description you’d expect given the box art and advertising blurbs? No? Then you understand the DEEP INNER EAR ITCH ANNOYANCE I was beginning to develop for the movie.

“Movie“: your pardon citizens, this is not a True account of this third installment. It is a pair of long episodes stapled together. Notice “long“, not epic. Epic stories are generally good over a sizable duration, while long shows make the duration acute. Bender’s Game didn’t drag on however. It just feels that way as you wonder whether or not you grabbed the right movie off the DVD shelf - “Is this an old episode I missed?” Half way through the intertwined stories reverse priority and you get what you came for, but I was actually expecting a bit more role playing in-jokes or Futurama trademark satire.

The writers Groening and Cohen (the series creator and lead series crafter) seem unwilling to commit to the fantasy tale promised, and when they do get to it the writing begins to feel rushed - like when you’re tired from work but need to write an article Friday night because technical issues prevented you from posting a new Dominion Cast episode and you’re hoping your regular readers don’t mind, but since they’re mostly silent anyway why the fuck not?

The jokes were decent but not really what you’d expect for having waited for a new Futurama joint. Some gags were set up chuckle worthy to be called back upon funny later, than less the next time, then tired when referred to a third time. Many punch lines were ironically beaten to death. Most were hit and miss but the whole thing is overall funny for the sheer volume of jokes written in. There’s was one scene with “Morcs” that was brilliantly funny for it’s non sequitar feel - the inability to see a gag coming was a hallmark of the Groening brand and now too sparse. It’s almost as though they had to remember the feel of Futurama.

Despite this, the third feature was overall funny and definitely rent worthy, purchase worthy to complete the set - but you could stand to wait for a discounted gift set with all the movies.

Alien - the juxtaposition of that which is “normal” with the abnormal. Specifically those beings originating from far stars and filling our movies and TV with coolness. Listen as Hunin, Omari, Heaven, your Dominus - and sometimes Rib - wax geeky on those creatures not of this world.

All statments and specualtion made about whether real life celebrites are alien - or just gay - are intended as satirical humor and nothing more. Suck it litigants!

Dominion Cast 13 download (67 mins, 61MB)

Music from Walk’in on Neptune by ADC Level
Rib’s Siesta of Interest
What’s an Alien: Little Wayne, Michael Jackson, Sam Casssel
Cal-el the alien?
Da Borg
Lucas the Great Integrationist
Tracker Paul
Taken with Taken
Suck-Fi Channel
4400
2000-yawn
The Human Perspective of Spielberg
Big mouth, Little mouth

Heroes has now officially returned with a double episode this Monday - following an hour long clip show reintroduction that I really could’ve done without.

Every fan of the show has been watching the web exclusives, web comics and replaying the Season 2 DVD until the disk melts. The preview show I guess was meant to make us literally fall off the edge of our seats like we all did today when Clay “9/10ths out of the closet” Aiken finally sashayed his buttermilk biscuits into the open, to massive faux surprise.

I like that Hiro has a new quest because he’s the fan boy with a greater destiny that all of us want to be. I admire them for waiting this long to finally give him a worthy power counterpart in the bad girl speedster Daphne. There’s only so long that one can endure an “I don’t know my own strength yet” learning curve. Her intro was great with the ultra-slow time merely something that she accelerated out of to smack down our naive boy. This attitudinal hurdle of his development may be breached with the Ando betrayal revelation. Yeah, it could be some shape changer, or the Butterfly Effect will prevent that occurrence - then again that could be a new future - but I think it would be cool for Ando to get powers - NO ONE DESERVES POWERS MORE THAN ANDO SAN.

Now Mohinder has opened that possibility with his powers shot - assuming it doesn’t just make the recipient Brundle from the Goldblum remake of The Fly. What the fuck were they going for with that? It goes against the whole adrenal trigger for powers when he’s just hanging around doing super shit. The one plus was Maya gets naked, a long time coming (another probable side effect of his powers). Why she submitted to the titanic tantra dicking I couldn’t fathom what with all the “dis is el diablo” speech about corrupting powers. Maybe it’s some pheromone he exudes now too? Maybe just an impulsive Jessica moment?

Where the hell is that bitch? Troubled single Mom Nikki, hulking whore Jessica and now cryokinetic Neo-Con groupie Terri Strauss. Captain Sheridan back on the tube is welcomed though, but not likely for much development in the patsy role. Leaves me wondering when/if Micah and the Katrina cousin get back into the story. Nikki, if she is the base character, must have the power to split personalities to deal with trauma complete with new powers of the persona - kinda lame, but better than damage sponge Claire.

We see a dark version of the future Cheerleader, but I’m unsure as to whether this will manifest although she’s got the potential with her whole “am I still human” numbness. Daddy brought in fire mommy, while he’s off to kick some ass. We may get some more backstory out this hopefully, as opposed to cliched estranged parent schmultz. Being ability raped by Sylar was a powerful scene but I wasn’t surprised she lived, nor should anyone else. I was mainly pissed that Mr. Creepy has a new power.

I must say that Sylar is my favorite character because I actually HATE him. Ironically, with his powers I’d be doing similar things to him - so he’s some kind of emotional projection of my own id. Most of my affiliation with Peter is that he can actually kill the bastard, but now there’s a weird sibling dynamic soon to surface. Now Momma Petrelli is a lying bitch, and this could be just a ploy to get S-Man to hunt down the villains, but Gabriel, Peter, and Nathan all share an biblical theme. Only Nathan is picking up on the angel role and may have the soul-swapping power that future Pete has, since he’s chatting with the ghost of Linderman - and can access his powers it seems since Peter never met old boy before DL made him a knucklehead.

Scar Pete from the future I like cause he’s the badass of the series now, save Bennet who’s just now getting into the saddle that says “Bad Muthfucka” on it. He knows the future and his own powers, including some yet to be revealed, and moving with clear direction. He ported Parkman to Africa like “this won’t do, laters”. The cop can stay in Africa for all I care, assuming he’s not trapped in his own mind somehow. If not, atleast we get a new black hero out of the deal.

Highly anticipated: My man Jaime Hector from The Wire is a villain with the ability to “read your fears and convert it to his strength, awesome strength”. I’m staying tuned for that alone.

We discuss various portrayals of the undead on TV and in movies with two amatuer experts: Tribune Hunin and Citizen Steve. Supplemental points are raised by Dan, Rib and me to define these demonic archetypes. From black and white zombie classics to the full-color crimson vampire shows of today to ghouls of our games - the dead are dissected. The roots of the myths are revealed and admission to the seductive appeal of the UUUUNDEEEEEAD.

And, it’s not even near Halloween.

Dominion Cast 9 download (70 mins. 64 MB)

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-e823a0e05e56c06e2a69bdf3954f05f6}

Mailbag: Noble Bear’s Zombie query
Alien Flesh Mecha
Zombie or Afflicted
The Transformation must be televised
Vamps are people too
J. Whedon vs. A. Rice
Traits of Transylvania: Love at First Bite, Once Bitten
Horror Legends explained: Jason, Freddy, The Mummy, Lexa Doig
Steve’s Tale of the Damned
Myth and Symbolism
Aside: Games for all Genres (PTA and ICFLLLS)
Fun: Could you survive the Outbreak? This interactive movie gives you choices you’ll need to make.

Music by Rstyle