02 Jan

Dominion Cast 21 - Sci-Fighting Words

Our very own Tribune of Thought Hunin takes a turn a the moderator’s desk - well chair … actually old couch in the basement - and guides us through this discussion of common Sci-Fi themes and tropes. Wordsmyth joins us again to express his Oedipal fear of the past, and joins me in defending Star Wars. The Chocolate Lady Lira remembers Johnny Five as one of the robot greats. Rib dreams of Beligium buttocks and immortal abs. Me, I swear and bicker over Terminators and fake ten year olds.

Cast biness as usual.

Jonni Fyve


Dominion Cast 21 download (59 mins, 54mb)

Music from fuori quarantena by Miguel Prod
Time Travel -
Big Bang: LoLs-free
Time Cop
Back 2 da Future
Star Trek TNG: Cause and Effect (5×18)
2001 > Star Wars? : Round 1
Rhobutts: reflection of humanity or cool badguys
Post Apocalypse - When lord, WHEN!?!?
Psionics: Mental Car Science
Weirdbadwrong Science: Rise of the Mandroid.

25 Dec

Merry Christmas!

“The Trinity goes to War”
from Bender’s Big Score

and Happy Holidays to all

 

18 Dec

Table Tales I: Jovian Chronicles

Remember the homebrew setting I was developing, The Jovian Chronicles? Wondered if it was just another of those “what if” masturbatory conceptualizing many designers do? Know how I’m always mentioning what a great GM I am? I’m starting a series here where I post the story summaries of our session for your entertainment and my own glorification.

Prologue: The PC’s are the survivors of the Europa Explorer, which crashed on in this acidic bog on this land they’ve never seen. Security specialist Jerrith, Engineer’s Mate Alan Hatchett and a ferret name Squeezil - now possessed of sapience - narrowly escape the sinking vessel with the aid of some small frenetic alien. They travel in a direction of the creatures insistence, having a close encounter with voracious native insects, and arrive in the home village of their savior, “Taka” she likes to be called.

Initial contact with Taka’s species proved hindered by the lack of communication. The females present readily accepted the child’s return, after her inspection. Jerrith’s innocent demonstration of his carbine put the mature agrarian males on the defensive, understandably. Alan’s analysis of their native tools revealed sophisticated machining and carpentry. The hoe’s head was apparently made of finely forged titanium, quite unusual for such a seemingly primitive people. Violence wasn’t the response, however the team was escorted to the village central plaza by a close contingent of the men.

The walk through the settlement attracted many onlookers and showcased the diversity of these aliens. All were of modest height and slender to wiry builds with finely scaled skin in earth-toned coloration from sand to slate with an iridescent sheen present in the light. Homes were plant fiber huts with ceramic mortar and woven mat doors. All in all, these beings were not much unlike pre-industrial cultures of Earth. Family based societal organization was observed. A lodge composed of several interconnected huts sat on the plaza, out of which issued three apparent elders bedecked in beads and ceremonially painted to show rank. The eldest invited them in.

The team participated in a ceremony led by the eldest in which they imbibed a strange beverage that had a strong adverse reaction to the two humans, though Squeezil seemed immune to the worst effects. The hosts tending to their sickness followed a throbbing headache and vomiting and now able to communicate with the team via some form of verbally initiated limited linguistic telepathy. They had been given “The Voice”.

The Erven are a simple people with a reverence for the preservation of nature whom toil essentially as peasant labor. Illiterate, they pass on treasured histories orally and don’t possess the “documents” (also a rough translation of the concept of technology). Apparent herbivores, without even domesticated animals, they are avowed pacifists whom highly respect life and are grateful for the care given to Taka. They have no concept of anything above the corusea (the sky spanning plasma phenomena) and very little of events on other shiffs (floating continent like land masses which emanate an anti-gravitational field and moving over some kind of field called the elemir). Skimmas are some kind of machine capable of navigating the space between shiffs, but the Erven have none.

There are other sapient species present in their world - “Others” like the Myessi and Cappodans are mentioned - but this village is under the “protection” of the Ceph Nior. A warrior race that is wary of threats and “takes life”, the Nior lost their homeland in a catastrophe and have warred over it with others. The crash landing of the Europa attracted Taka’s curiosity and no doubt would attract their overlords from a nearby outpost, perhaps arriving in a ryzma (local day measured by a full color cycle of the corusea, 30 hours).

The team considers leaving to spare the Erven the anger of their masters, but there is little place to go. The shiff is only 3 to 4 rymas wide on foot. It is decided that fealty must be sworn to the Ceph Nior when they come to prevent violence. In the meantime the team go about trying to share their advanced technical knowledge with their generous hosts. Alan attempt to improve their central irrigation pump. Jerrith shows how to form clay into bricks. Squee attempts to give them a language, but meets difficulty the telepathic nature of communication. Things are interrupted with the feared arrival of the lords.

Upon domestic riding beasts called striders, lithe quadruped saurian reptiles, a squad of Ceph Nior enters the village. More humanoid then the Erven, with hair and ears, their lavender hued skin features deeper pigmented striations and dark bony plates that can extrude from the skin to form a keratinous natural armor besides the leathery chitin armor they wear. Armed with halberd-like darglaives, the five receive the reception of nobility with the whole village of 80 turning out with offerings. A central figure in decorative amber colored armor holds himself as the commander. He immediately orders the team and the eldest into the lodge.

The team is interrogated about their home shiff, but being mystified as to where this realm is aren’t helpful. Offerings are demanded and replied with a candy bar, which the Ceph find not particularly good. The team is ordered to come with them when Taka comes running into the lodge, perhaps fearful for her friends, and his harshly struck by the officer for the disturbance. Noticing the team’s reaction, he wishes to further demonstrate his power and order the girl killed. Jerrith intervenes to offer him their only luxury in exchange for the child’s life, his vodka. Identifying the clear liquid as poison, and believing this to be an attempt at assassination, smashes it to the floor and orders his men to attack.

The elder spirits away Taka while the team fights to defend themselves. Jerrith gets to his hidden carbine and takes down one, while Squeezil surprises a second with a grievous bite to the neck. Angering the warrior, she runs to hide in a stack of rug rolls. The Nior return fire with their weapons, which project some kind of molten slug like a musket. Alan rushes a third but is easily repelled before having his legs sliced out from under him by a heavy darglaive swing. Closing to melee range the Ceph outnumber Jerrith. His gun stock a por match for their axe-like weapons. Turning with a blow to the back swings him into a hard blow to the chest - he succumbs to shock. Squee, swiftly moving to hide on Jerrith‘s person, is able to apply some bio balm to his wound but it’ll take a while to heal even with it‘s accelerated effects. Alan is given treatment by the officer, not wanting to loose his quarry so soon.

The warriors begin to bind their captives.

To be continued …

08 Dec

Step Voltron

Yeah, sure, we all know the Big 3 car companies fucked up, but that’s no reason to extend the resentment to the innocent car Voltron. It really isn’t.

Over the past week some misguided friends and myself have been debating the merits of Voltrons. Automatically, when you think Voltron you think of the five lions. They come out of their elemental themed dens to bite tanks, launch missles and eat space ships before the titanic robeast emerges. The lions formed Voltron by tucking in their legs, bending their necks and being violated by the black lion’s legs or sticking their tails into his chest. He breaks out the blazing sword and cuts monster du jour in half. Go Voltron Force! Although amazingly formulaic, no one is denying the coolness of Lion Voltron - but if you bring up Vehicle Voltron, other defender of the greater universe, people call you dumb to cover their own ignorance.

I realize the reason for this perception though, as long time readers will know, I do not forgive ignorance. In 1984, Voltron, a translation of the older Japanese series Beast King Golion, debuted. Two channels in the Detroit area vied for the afternoon cartoon audience - like the auto giants over government loans. On one was the newly imported and re-cut show titled Voltron, on the other was the American made original Transformers. It was a good day for kids who didn’t realize how Reganomic deregulation was imperiling their distant economic future.

After fifty-two episodes, Lion ran out of story. Transformers kept going strong. More toys than five Lions equals more money for more new shows. It was then that a new team was introduced by importing an Americanized version of the Japanese series Armor Fleet Dairugger 15 - known as Vehicle Voltron here. Kids immediately saw it as an attempt to compete with Transformers, and a lame one. “Car Voltron be bite’ in,” they’d declare in the parlance of the time, then drop into a backspin on a piece of cardboard to vent their displeasure into break dancing. Although this was planned by Toei Animation, changing casts in a series is never appreciated, Robotech merged three series into generational sagas to mitigate this continuity breaking, but few even gave these heroes of the Near Universe a chance.

I gave it look-see and liked what I saw. Fuck a castle; they had a whole carrier to transport them to different planets, with alien terrain - and aliens. Three teams of five vehicles explored the land, seas and air of these new worlds; they often bordered the territory of an evil star empire (bad guys). Strategies were planned to save the worlds after first contact was established, much more often than not armadas were sent in. These exploration sci-fi themes grabbed my interest greatly. More than lion Voltron that patrolled one damn planet, or even Transformers that fought in rural Colorado defending power stations from hungry Decepticons. Kids like structure and predictability, whatever - I liked new shit.

The cast was pretty well rounded out among Aqua, Turbo Terrain and Strato Teams without the need for silly space mice, the only friends of the severely neglected Princess of Arus - her abandonment issues the source of blue balls for black lion’s Keith many times. Robeasts, despite a time again failed strategy, were faced too necessitating that they form a 15 piece Voltron bristling with weapons, including twin chakrams that would be joined to form their katana like blazing sword. All of the fun of Voltron with a little Star Trek tossed in.

That wasn’t cool? No? Well we’ve got a Voltron Fan Panel to air your opinions on this. Come by and get schooled.

25 Nov

Heroes: Not so Heroic

A couple of hardcore comic fan friends and myself - whom collected for merely a couple of years - used to assemble on Monday nights to watch NBC’s Heroes. We no longer do. It’s not because of schedule changes or my rise to Internet fame like a sea turtle gradually coming to the surface of obscurity for air; they merely see Heroes as a failed endeavor.

Failed?

I can sympathize being a recovering Lost one - a show I now consider televised crystal meth, but was easier to kick … I imagine, never turned tricks for an episode. Interest turns to fascination; fascination into confusion; confusion to fear; fear to hate: Jedi Psychology 101 - but I ‘m not suffering from not knowing the island’s secrets. Abrams may never fully reveal them, just make a damn movie promising more. Cloverfield’s sequel is coming out. Yippie, cause I’m dying to learn more about lice-ridden Godzilla - maybe a steady cam will result in fewer vomit stained theatres this time.

Heroes hasn’t left me embittered yet, but it’s odd to consider that ardent comic fans dislike it so much - check it out

I could attack naysayers personally. After all, it worked against Obama … oh, right. No need, the series has some definite issues.

1. Super-powers prefer Blondes. I don’t mind them myself but jeez there’s a lot of Aryan tail on the show. Mocha lovers had Maya, but now she’s cured and gone. Momma Petrelli ain’t cutting it for the spank bank. The muscle memory Monica was jailbaity cute - like a Black Claire with actual kick ass powers. She and that entire branch of the cast have faded out so far this season. Micah orphaned with Nikki’s death. This trend is opposed by another series tendency …

2. Keep the brothas down. Black comic fans HATE being slighted over relatable characters. We had Halle as Storm in X-Men, but then she had to get log slammed by Billy Bob in Monster’s Ball for the Oscar. Now it’s like, eeww. We can’t get the smell of Skoal and Slim Jims off her. Still, better him than movie hubby Diddy.

D.L. had phasing abilities to permeate matter, but he’d been shot three fuck’in times? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me two more times and I’m off the show. They even finished off Nikki, Negro tainted, but feeling an imbalance of only four blondes on the show had to kinda bring her back with a long lost triplet Tracy. Usutu the precog I knew was gonna die as soon as I knew his power. Isaac Mendez at least succumbed to his fate voluntarily. Arthur Petrelli snuck up on the guy that can see the future. See the future, you see plot; you must die … Even if it doesn’t make sense. All we have is one-dimensional bad guy brotha captain power punch Knox. I know he’s gonna die before the end of this season. Oh no … NOW I’VE GOTTA DIE!!! Speaking of powers …

3. HOW THE FUCK DO MY POWERS WORK? I do get it. Heroes is a drama first with super ability action second. The emphasis is on the story told over mechanical coherency. This would seem paradoxical, as coherency is part of a good story, but then again with so much time travel we’re only giving science lip service at this point.

Papa Petrelli drains Adam Monroe’s healing factor causing the immortal to age 500 years in an instant and die … why? Just watched the new episode and the old man didn’t get re-paralyzed with the eclipse though his healing was gone. Sylar can study your brain to take your powers, being sensitive to complexity like a watchmaker… or psychoanalyze you. This one has a bit of sense to it. Without her super speed Daphne is crippled? I would think limping at the speed of sound would be an interesting - if outright fuck’in hilarious - ability.

So with all this why am I still watching?

There’s nothing better on in its timeslot - sorry One Tree Hill - and I do like a lot of the central conflicts. How will Peter get his powers back? How will Arthur Petrelli be defeated? Is Sylar becoming good? What’s Claire’s first sex scene gonna look like? It’s a soap opera with super abilities that’s on weekly - much more story than a twenty-five-page comic that only comes out once a month. I’ve got comic geek enough in me for the show to sate my niche tastes.