Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

OK, so Frank Miller is starting to slip a bit.

I say this after having just seen his latest comic adaptation to the big screen, The Spirit. A movie that makes up what it lost in tension with lots of ass … and I mean a lot of ass. A shame it still doesn’t compensate.

Did you see Sin City? Great flick wasn’t it? It had a new illustratively gritty style of shooting and a series of interconnected stories that captured the pathos of the characters. The Spirit has Pathos, a henchman to the big bad guy played to comic relief effect ably by Louis Lombardi (Edgar from 24), but that’s the only pathos it has.

The Spirit, former slain cop Denny Colt turned charismatic vigilante golden age heroic zombie, warrants none. He’s unkillable, super athletic, and gets to fight for justice above the law and EVERYONE with a vagina wants him in it - even death itself is wet for him. Protecting Central City - named this only because Gotham is still taken - is his only committed relationship though . Sad, if he didn’t spend most of his time hitting on everything and stringing along the love interest/cop commissioner‘s daughter Dr. Dolan.

Ever catch 300? Good flick wasn’t it? A dramatically epic vision of one of the greatest military battle in history was crafted. Leonides was defending his freedom from a freakishly alien but ambitious foreign conqueror Xerxes. Pose Fu action done masterfully in each bloody combat scene. Samuel Jackson plays the nemesis of the Octopus, a stylistically insane mad scientist with the same powers as the Spirit, whom he created by experiment. He’s named for the cephalopod cause his tentacles are everywhere … supposedly. The name fits cause he’s mentally everywhere. He’s some kind of super pimp in the first scene, samurai in the next, Nazi officer then Cossack. Character concept is obvious: let’s play dress up with badass Sam Jackson, muthafucka!

The Spirit does Rapid Fu combat direction mostly, not very herky jerky but lots of pans to the shadow of what’s going on when he‘s beating the hell out of the 12th stupid clone of Lombardi. Otherwise, it’s mainly The Spirit getting shot by somebody until he needs to catch his breath whistling through multiple bullet holes like Daffy Duck when he takes a drink of water and it fountains out. Very cartoony violence abounds. When Jackson hits him with a toilet in the beginning you catch the theme.

The pluses are plus sized hips all through out. Eva Mendes. Scarlett Johansson. I was very disappointed when they couldn’t find walk on roles for Vida Guerra nor Kim Kardashian. The best scene was when our hero tracks the jewel thief Sand Seref (Mendes, cause Latin Wide Bottom isn’t a font name) through the city by showing a Xerox of her butt. It and Silken Floss’ (Johansson) chestiness were the highlights.

Wait for the DVD, and make sure your pause button is strong.

Our very own Tribune of Thought Hunin takes a turn a the moderator’s desk - well chair … actually old couch in the basement - and guides us through this discussion of common Sci-Fi themes and tropes. Wordsmyth joins us again to express his Oedipal fear of the past, and joins me in defending Star Wars. The Chocolate Lady Lira remembers Johnny Five as one of the robot greats. Rib dreams of Beligium buttocks and immortal abs. Me, I swear and bicker over Terminators and fake ten year olds.

Cast biness as usual.

Dominion Cast 21 download (59 mins, 54mb)

Music from fuori quarantena by Miguel Prod
Time Travel -
Big Bang: LoLs-free
Time Cop
Back 2 da Future
Star Trek TNG: Cause and Effect (5×18)
2001 > Star Wars? : Round 1
Rhobutts: reflection of humanity or cool badguys
Post Apocalypse - When lord, WHEN!?!?
Psionics: Mental Car Science
Weirdbadwrong Science: Rise of the Mandroid.

Egg Nog and Japanese beer fueled ramblings about holiday movies, Oscar season and snatch. If there’s any cast to put the parental locks on, it’s this one. Rib, Hunin, The Chocolate Lady, Felicia and myself have a merry time in this our last recording of the year. Hope you enjoy! … and forgive us.

Dominion Cast 20 download: 67 mins. & 61MB

Music from Les Stances Sibyllines by Niconoclaste and fragments of stories by Wasaru
Snatch for the Holidays
Favorites: Elf, Friday after Next, Home Alone, Dick in a Box
The Gift of Roots (Rutz)
Who the hell is Elizabeth Pena
Feliz Navidad
Oscar Buzz: Furry Aussie, bub.
Cadillac Records? Mos Def is the other one, playing Chuck Berry
The Spirit of the Season
Lady Blockbusters
Make bread, not Guiness
Four Christmasezzzzzzzzzz

When I write about a movie with nerdy appeal, like The Transporter or Kevin Smith’s latest, it’s done wearing the metaphoric cloak of a geek that likes movies. Other times when I write about just good or bad movies, it’s done donning the cap of movie geek - a cinephile that’s foaming about some new celluloid submission. The immediate question one may ask is: How many articles of role clothing do I own and wear? Lounging in my boxer shorts of casual nonchalance, I’m not sure of the exact number.

In previewing the newest Clint Eastwood drama Gran Torino, I wear the cap of cinephile. If you thought this was about the racing game Gran Turismo, I’m sorry but I haven’t played that yet. Patronize our sponsors and I’ll be sure to get it, or send me a copy and I’ll review it - pinky swear. Until then, I’ll point out that a 1972 Ford Gran Torino is the prize possession of Eastwood’s protagonist Walt Kowalski - the most grizzled old racist and embittered Polock war vet you may ever grow to admire.

I’ve long held that Eastwood can’t make a bad movie and this one fulfills my claim yet again. It’s like the Karate Kid in reverse actually. Old white man teaches misfit Asian nerd how to be an American man - complete with racial epithets for friends and ballsy bravado. The remarkable thing is the distance he covers from his start as gook hating Korean War veteran that just wants to be left the hell alone.

Tao is played sufficiently by newcomer Bee Vang (first I’ve ever seen him, but he could be the Haley Osment of his native land, Fresno, California). The young fellow has problems with a neighborhood gang ran by his cousin - a chigger, like a wigger but Chinese. Actually they’re Mung, but Eastwood just calls the slopes the whole movie so fuck if I’m going to make a distinction. He doesn’t come to Eastwood to learn boxing of course, these dudes got guns - not to mention Clint’s penchant for euthanizing injured young athletes. He tries to steal the car to impress the thugs but ends up getting caught, dishonoring his family and getting called a pussy for the entire movie while doing chores to atone.

I like most their relationship that grows in a very realistic way. There’s no grandfather/grandson sappiness, but lots of insults and posturing that are a welcome relief from the apparent feminization of dudes in media. He becomes a neighborhood hero for his take no shit from anyone grit, but still wants to remain a solitary figure in his declining years. There is a conservative amount of ass kickage, but it’s satisfying when it occurs in defense of his young buddy Tao - and not buddy in a Brokeback way. We learn that Kowalski is moved by his execution of a young Korean prisoner and is making amends for a burden he’s carried for forty years. In the end, his efforts to protect Tao lead to his dramatic redemption, which one could see coming but is nonetheless moving.

What Unforgiven was to the typical western, Gran Torino is to the Death Wish series.

Despite the overblown gimmicky action ride - and practice session for Crank - that was Transporter 2, I decided to give the franchise a new break by seeing Transporter 3: There in 30 seconds, or I’ll kick your ass! Not the actual tagline, yet apparently one of Frank Martin’s (Jason Statham) many unspoken rules. Rule one: touch my suit and I’ll kill you with it. That’s the only spoiler I’ll be giving, read on.

The first in the series, aptly named Transporter because putting the number one in the title would be a bit presumptuous, was just excellent. We never see the mercenary wheelman - let alone one that ’s machine accurate and by book played to cool effect. From 30-year Hong Kong veteran director Corey Yuen, you be surprised … if you’d heard of him before, unlike me. His other movies read like a list of entrees on the menu of China Star Number One Golden Egg Roll Palace, but are harshly distinct single words when translated, like The Doctor, Bartender and Cameo. Shu Qi was a sexy handful Martin could barely mange with a heart of gold and mouth of lies (here name too, Lai) with visible chemistry.

The fight choreography was Rapid Fu done well and set in interesting scenes. An oiled up dude skating around beating ass was great, along with the acrobatics of the bus scene. This action inspired that in Transporter 2, which evidently Louis Leterrier took as a challenge to one up. He fuck’in 7 upped it! The bomb on the bottom of the car was knocked off with the crane? Jumping parking structure buildings? The sex kitten with twin Uzi’s that preferred to fight in her underwear and always ended up wet? Was Roger Moore in this, or Pierce Brosnan? It blew its action load early leaving us with a sappy story - Martin working out some paternal issues - and progressively more ridiculous stunts. Odd for Leterrier, since his Jet Li movie Unleashed - in which the actor actually, you know, acted - and his take on The Incredible Hulk this year were very good flicks. Too much brandy in his crepes perhaps.

The third one isn’t quite as good as the first but is easily better than part deux. Oliver Megaton didn’t bomb on this one by keeping it simple - for us stupids. Not that the first one was deep but there was a bit of complexity with what the real stakes were with Lai lying so much. The stakes were set out in the beginning and you forget them by action sequence two. Some of the camera usage was beginning to scare me, getting a bit Tony Scott in some scenes, but was well done if a bit on the choppy side of Rapid Fu. The sequences were well paced through and built well to a crescendo at the climax. Overtop, hell yeah. The key is get crazy near the end though. Never did it get ridiculous as in the previous incarnation.

Love interest 2 - let’s not count the kid in the first sequel - is damsel in distress Valentina (yeah, that’s the sexist pic she has), whom doesn’t compare to Shu Qi in looks or acting. Kind of like a Ukrainian girl next door that didn’t have that great between the legs camera shot that the Asian actress could pull off (if I could find the clip I’d link it, it’s after they swim from his burning house) but perceptive enough to get Frank minimalist lifestyle - insightful, I guess. François Berléand appears again as Martin’s only friend the French police inspector and actually does some detective work on his own to get to the bottom of things.

Overall a nice change of pace from the FX budget = good action flick paradigm. Transport yourself to the movies to check it out in 30 minutes, or get choked out with suit sleeves sucka!