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06 Apr

Jovian Horizon - Exploration Log 06: Flight to Zanado

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Vonno’s Folly.

The establishment was named for a creature of folklore whom foolishly traded important possessions for a momentary pleasure. A vivid painting of the creature after he traded his legs for a big helping of frosted spice bread upon the building gave Jerrith the impression of a sea lion with a birthday cake. Hence, his calling the place the Party Seal inn/brothel. Although the likeness of Vonno to the Otariidae family of Earth was likely due to coincidental evolution - not a real seal - there was undeniably a party going on.

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18 Mar

Another Handbook for D&D Players

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So, this month wizards of the coast released the much-anticipated Player’s Handbook II for their new fourth edition line of Dungeons and Dragons. I’m sorry it took so long for me to review, but in these times it’s hard enough to find two dimes to rub together - let alone three hundred and eighty one to buy this “next level” in D&D.

Thank Avandra for her creation of Coinstar; plus whichever lesser deities invented loose pants pockets and couch cushions.

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25 Feb

Intrigue and Entanglements

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Intrigue: A secret scheme. A machination. A plot. Also, a secret love affair like that shared by young Michael and Hanna in The Reader- if you’re jaded enough to call that love. Intrigue is also the name of a Norwegian joik band, which doesn’t pertain to this article but similarly intrigue games can be a nice source of role-play stimulation, like joiking off … or out, like rocking out?

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11 Feb

Jovian Horizon - Exploration Log 05: The Hunt

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After much fanfare, and a discussion of currency between Jerrith, Squee and Oakiino (one egg will net the group 500 azurs), the trio meets their hunt leader Kyapen. Dressed in a tightly woven vest of dense of plant fibers hosting hard wood plates and other armor, his lean wiry frame looks toughened - despite the species resemblance to a man-sized bipedal hair-less cat. A long iron spear and quiver of javelins remind them this hunt is business. After a cursory inspection of the group, scolding Alan’s apparent unpreparedness and smearing Prymaat dung on them - to get the scent, the four head into the semi-arid purple and yellow forest of the Veddas shiff.

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04 Feb

Slow but Satisfying?

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First thing: get your filthy minds out of the gutter! Skeevy net pervs!

I’m talking about play by post (PbP). Role-playing games played on message board forums where the Storyteller and players interact in and out of narrative one post at a time. It is to tabletop role-playing with a group of friends, what a microwaved cantaloupe with a whole cut in it is to Salma. (Note: This metaphor made without empirical comparison).

The similarity is mainly do to the level of satisfaction, I’d sickly imagine. The verbal exchange of creative ideas is preserved, but slowed down by a factor of 1,440 - what takes a minute at the table takes a day in messaging. The usual gaming props of maps, character counters, and dice are still present, but the communication barriers of distance and time in PbP make supplemental questions of clarity slow things even more.

“Is that thing next to me a beetle?”
… 2 hours …
“Nope. It’s an Umber hulk. I‘ll post when I get back from work“… 10 hours later …
“Fuck! - I wouldn’t have walked up to that bastard! Can I redo my action?”
… 10 hours later …
“Nope. It’s attacking you. I‘ll email you the roll from the dice server and post if you‘re dead tomorrow. Just to save time, everyone email me the items you want to take from his corpse.”
“Shit! Where’s the Melon setting on my microwave?”

Unfun storytelling isn’t unique to this medium of gaming by far, but the waiting magnifies it. If this happens to you at the table you could flip it over, throw your dice in his face and cram the rolled up game master screen up his ass in a couple of minutes - police response time: 20 minutes, roughly. Even “quick” posting is a crippled earthworm crawl next to regular speech. This makes you the asshole left in suspense.

I’ve been the asshole as a player and as storyteller, waiting for numb nuts in the Pacific Time zone to tell me if he’s going into the door - and making the monster behind that door more terrible every minute. The best way I know to combat this in PbP is to make every single post you make a cliffhanger that begs a question “What the FUCK is happening?!”

I do admire in this in the board messages I read that have finished a story. When you don’t have to wait or check for updates, its pretty good fiction to read - or, makes you feel better about your writing/storytelling. It’s also good solution for conflicting schedules that allows folks to fit gaming back into their lives. Is it better than not playing at all: yes - but if you can voice chat over Skype or even text chat games are a better alternative.

Does anyone prefer PbP to live games?

More importantly, have you fucked a warm cantaloupe … I mean, Salma Hayek?

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Jovian Horizon - Exploration Log 06: Flight to Zanado

Another Handbook for D&D Players

Intrigue and Entanglements

Jovian Horizon - Exploration Log 05: The Hunt

Slow but Satisfying?