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Q and Rib rejoin Hunin and I for a discussion of the film greats that move us the most. Hunin reveals his crippled ability to enjoy a Mel Brooks classic. Words are seen to be the heart of action. An old holiday favorite is painted as fantasy bullshit, and a little known film is raised from obscurity.

What are some of your favorites? Future topic ideas can be commented here, in the forums, or e-mailed to dominus at dadominion dot com. Submissions will be open for another week.

Dominion Cast 7 download (41.3MB, 45 mins.)

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Vin Diesel is a fully-out, loud and proud gaming geek - sadly for some readers this sentence didn’t end differently. As a gamer myself, I feel some allegiance to this big star that would never join my table group or guild should we ever cross paths, unless I run a macro so my avatar constantly shouts endorsements of his movies - and if he’s smart, definitely not then. I could do this for Pitch Black and the Chronicles of Riddick with no loss of integrity points. My Way and A Man Apart seem like they could be OK too but are still in my Diesel  queue. Pacifier, never seen nor on the list, would show that I’m kissing ass or an obtuse viewer; and Triple X says I’ve made a female avatar to marry his in game. A Babylon AD endorsement may confuse him.

One of the most frustrating things for an actor may be doing a movie to your best but getting a lame result through no fault of your own; and, now you’ve got to plug this shit everywhere. VD may have felt this, or would’ve done it for the paycheck. When I see an interview I’ll be able to discern better, but to confirm the shrewd reader: not so great a flick. 

Someone said, “Let’s do Children of Men with more of an action tilt and shoot it like Strange Days. Also, see if Vin is available.”  Either of those movies are Dominus recommended, but Babylon AD is neither, nor a good hybridization. There’s a MacGuffin character named Aurora, whom must be important because people are after her. Why? She’s mysteriously important. When they do reveal why, it’s interesting but nothing like THIS CHICK IS CARRYING THE LAST KID IN THE WORLD important. The implications are said to be global, but the world isn’t that fucked up - save for Russia/Asia which is a pet-eating stye. American just has more ads and TV channels without an off switch in this future. Would it be so bad if this miracle chick didn’t make it? 

The answer is yes if she’s important to the main character: VD and Michelle Yeoh. The Julia Roberts of Kung Fu adopted the girl as a child, so we assume there’s a bunch of touching memories connecting them. Vin wants to fuck her, understandably, but is cock-blocked by defensive surrogate Mommy without so much as a cool fight sequence. There’s a line near the mid-point after they’ve accomplished a plot goal to the effect that “Now, we’re like a family.”When a line like that is explicitly said it’s the same as the director admitting defeat on his characterization. No one in the aforementioned Diesel movies says that Riddick is a tough son of a bitch. He’s hunting the bat monsters hunting everyone else, befriending rock tigers or stabbing souls in the head - his actions define out-cold-motherfucka better than any exposition statement. Plus, with Vin and Yeoh posing as Mommy and Daddy you’d expect a chemistry between her nun-like character and this honorable merc. I’ve been spoiling for a Yeoh sex scene since the dick tease in Tomorrow Never Dies (too tame for even a clip on Youtube). No, he contemplates the baby bear’s porridge - kinda eerie.

There’s a red herring climax that’s mostly decent separated by last minute exposition from a true climax that’s anti-climactic.If you like a good action flick, there’s not quite enough here. If you’re looking for a sci-fi story, it barely meets the minimal requirements for the category.  Not a bad date movie, as it’s got thin sentimentality enough to trigger making out - which would save you from most of the problems.

A discussion of the old boob tube composes this episode. What we look forward to returning and other favorites. Of course, there are some that should have had their series finale a while ago; they are named as well. Our personality panel this week includes Hunin, Rib, and Angie (though she shares half my grandparents, doesn’t inherit the same tastes). Still trying to sculpt our sound, we’ve experimented with some new music and hope you groove while you enjoy.

Speak Citizens! What would you have us discuss next time? dominus@dadominion dot com

Dominion Cast 6 download (50.3 MB, 55mins.)

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Intro - Music by Tha Silent Partner
Returning Favorites and Rib’s Ead-fatuation. :51
On the Queue 5:06
Reality’s Dynasties 7:47
Mrs. Hunin’s Love Lust and Life … besides Hunin
House O’ Hookers 10:44
Clan of the Kitchen 14:45
Digg’s Top Shelf Chef
Home Box Office Brings It 17:37
Omari homage - Theatre of the Mind Interlude 20:54
Anatomically Desperate 22:28
Rocky or Oh
The Meme 31:21
Not Overton, but Scooter (Cress Williams)
The Abrams Device: Lost looses Digg (then he looses IT!) 35:43
Bow to the Power of Bauer 42:48
Animated Tangent 48:26
Code Monkeys
Outro 53:55

Let me sweep the dust from this forgotten title, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and give some impressions now that I cant possibly watch Dark Knight again without becoming The Blogger - a villain that trolls the internet punishing more popular rivals by diverting their links to the Kathy Bates nude scene from About Schmidt or the Oprah sex scene from Beloved. You thought the Joker was bad.

Hellboy passes the first test for being a genre mash up that I can stomach. I usually hate these from the dilution they create - the way a cell phone with a toaster function would be great at neither allowing communication (burning your ear and getting crumbs on your clothes) nor browning bread (now smeared with melted plastic). This example of contemporary dark fantasy achieves this by down playing the setting’s modernity. Hellboy’s New York feels like the thirties version, the way that Gotham is often portrayed, and is a very faint backdrop for the action.

Director Del Toro takes us to the horrific underside quickly where trolls and goblins in seclusion from mankind sell magic artifacts and medieval monsters. The movie begins with a Tim Burton style animated back-story of the war between elves and men. Not hottie hot Tolkein elves but these bleached out faeries more akin to drow. Indeed, the main antagonist is a revenging Drizzt-like warrior elf Prince out to destroy man for dominating the supernatural world using a Golden golem army. The visuals that he made famous in Pan’s Labyrinth are brought to Hellboy, though not as gritty as that fairy tale - since it is a comic flick.

More of the heroic freak drama is brought in this installment as demonic HB, amphibious Abe Sapien, burning girl Liz fight to save humanity while being rejected by them. They’re joined by a new team leader in the form of a German ghost whom wears a pressure suit because obviously he would cost too much to render in gaseous form in all scenes. There’s a scene where the elf prince appeals to Hellboy being an outcaste yet fighting for we lazy ass ingrates against essentially his own kind. The city is attacked by this rare last of it’s kind plant monster and HB must decide where he stands, is he man … or monster … he blows it’s bulb head off with the oversized two-inch caliber “Big Baby”, it dies prettily and we proceed with the story.

The fairy tale feel of Hellboy sets it apart from every other comic movie in the past decade and makes it novel in a clichéd way. It’s entertaining to the eye, but not a brain churner or heart tugger. The characterization is ok -but nothing new aside from giving Abe a bit more story time. Wry humor is inserted to good effect to re-familiarize us with the cast, but by the second plot turn you remember why you forgot them. All in all it’s a nice visual snack but if you can wait for DVD, do so - I wouldn’t be shocked if it dropped next week.

In the meantime, I’m reading Watchman - so I too can get the hard nipples and enjoy its trailer as nerd porn.

Intended to be a civil discussion of recent films, I was joined by two comic crazy fanboys and one ever patient hostess - anarchy ensues. Hunin, Q, and Rib form the panel of this Cast covering the big men on the screen: Bat, Iron, and the ever testy Mr. Purple pants. We get intellectual on the genre - LOUDLY - plus get in some cinematic snobbery on WALL E and The Happening.

Dominion Cast 3 download
(70 mins. 63.8 mb)

Intro - Batman: The Animated Series opening theme
Digging the Dark Knight
Black Two Face: The Revenge of Billy D
Rib’s Apathy & Digg Doubts Ledger
The Hulk’s Fight Club
Ironman: Changing the Game
Rib’s Revelation
Hulking Pathos
WALL E, son of Johnny vs The Incredibles
Hunin defends The (not) Happening
Outro - Ha Ha Hee Hee

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