Transformers 2: Fallen Expectations
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If you love explosions and robots in virtual black face, you’ll probably like the new Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I’m not a big fan of either.
Don’t get me wrong. There were some cool effects like this one:
The Constructicon formation of Devastator. BOOM! Now you don’t have to sit through the rest and saved $12. You’re welcome very much.
Take everything you thought was cool about the 2007 flick. Multiply those effects until they’re mundane but reduce their screentime to a fraction. Tell another corny dialogue story about Spike (LaBeouf) rife with reluctant heroic cliche. Add some shots of Megan Fox (character name not important) bending over machines and running in slo-mo. Haphazardly string together these scenes with those “features” using a highly overdone plot until it feels like twice the length with one quarter the substance.
Done? There. You’re as talented as Michael Bay.
The director has caught some flack for two Autobot characters - Skids and Mudflap. They’re a pair of smart cars that reincarnate da urban flava of Jazz and Jar Jar Binks. Bay says they’re for kids - because it’s never too early to teach stereotypes. Not to mention - though I do for spite - a Decepticon Ice Cream truck and an vastly underused Soundwave (WITHOUT CASSETTES!) that merely fucked a comms satellite and told his bretheren the next place to blow up.
Plus Wheelie - a toy truck that humped Fox’s leg and led the Spike to an old transformer with walking cane and metal beard whose father was “the first wheel”. Yeah. I wish I were kidding
Comic relief can be an effective technique but only if you put some tension in the story. Dramatic action with the occasional unanticipated joke to ease things. Transformers is the other way around. It flows like a frenetic Superbad with robotic alien artifacts in place of pussy … with far fewer lols.
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