Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Foxx?
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As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Jamie Foxx has beaten and raped Disney teen star Miley Cyrus …
Wait! … What? … A verbal attack? Let’s check the record then:
Hmmm …
The rumor about Radiohead declining meeting her is hearsay that Jamie assumes is True for the sake of this bit obviously. By accounts Hannah Montana - er, Miley. Oh shit! I just revealed her secret identity! - was quoted to have said that she would “ruin” the Grammy-worthy band for the slight. If True, would this not be the actions of a “bitch”, a li’l white one specifically?
He says that Cyrus needs a “gum transplant”. Ridiculous. The proper term is a Gingivectomy, and it is very common. Still, it does carry the possibilty of dangerous baterial side effects like heart valve damage, immune system impairment and liver disease. Further, such a suggestion from Jamie is uncalled for because she already had the procedure. Shouldn’t we applaud her courage?
The admonishment to make a sex tape with her daddy is absurd and grotesque. There is also a slight tinge of racism since the rural white trash stereotype, applicable to a father/daughter combo named Billy Rae and Miley Cyrus, includes incest. I’m sure being on her show and in the same field of entertainment, Mr. Cyrus is close with his daughter - but not eerily close.
Miley may be a a pop diva, and flush with the entitlement complex endemic to the species, but it’s not like she’s taking risque pics and posting them to the internet like Lohan or Spears. No one really hopes she experiments with heroine, given the potential to O.D. This would break the hearts of millions of young girls that idolize her and create a void of celebrity exploitation in the greater media - plus trigger a Hannah Montana tribute marathon, as though that show isn’t on enough.
Overall, I found these statements ludicrous enough to qualify as comedy. Really, you can’t catch chlamydia from a bicycle. Unless …
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