A Hundred Minutes of Standing Still
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New on DVD is the remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still (TDESS). When an old piece of excellence is updated there is a tension between staying True to the original themes while still updating the work to appeal to contemporary audiences. After all, how many movies do you and your grandpa both enjoy - outside certain universals? Fortunately for them, the makers of the 2008 version hold so little regard for their audience they avoid this tension by just saying “Fuck it.” to most of the original movie’s style and insight.
The general theme is still there: humans are bad for Earth, Earth dies and people die, people die and Earth has a chance. Had this been shown through the plot of the movie instead of literally being told to the audience, with all the dull gravitas Keanu Reeves could muster, we could have had a more interesting and even thought-provoking story.
The original was actually more about humans having the destructive power of atomic energy on our side, but since we’ve dealt with it cautiously for sixty years the aliens have to bitch about something: the environment. Reeves’ character the extraterrestial ambasador Klaatu wants to tell this to the UN; but, ofcourse, the US gets all “They’ll screw us like we did the Indians … the Blacks … and Jennifer Hudson on Idol.” so the military justifies the extinction of humanity through futile strong arming.
Yes, you’ve seen this story before
There is no dramatic tension cause you know in the end Jennifer Conolly’s ‘persuasive abilities’ will convince him that we should get a second chance. Actually, most of the interplay with the alien was done by Jacob, played by Will Smith spawn Jayden. He came off as the best actor in the movie, mostly because when kids say dumb things it’s more believable. Jacob, who’s father was killed a year ago, early on says “We should kill the aliens just be sure” and one can’t help but remember Will in Independance Day. However, Klaatu is one of those hippy good aliens - as evidenced by being shot before he can utter his first line of grettings. Welcome to Earth!
The GORT robot that was made famous in the 1951 story becomes much more badass when it gets pissed and becomes a plague of cyber nano-locusts that will destroy the world and can’t be stopped. A big step over its former role as the bouncer for Klaatu’s UFO, but still without the cool imagery of a giant robot kicking ass. This updated Klaatu has powerful technology affecting powers, allowing him to kill everyone that gets in the way of preaching his message of peace … and acquiring vending machine sandwichs.
If viewed as strickly an action flick, TDESS is pretty bareable if hollow and predictable. If viewed with a group of fellow geeks it can be quite funny too. Just make sure you host so you don’t have to spend the 4.95 rental fee.
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I haven’t seen the original version of this movie and honestly, this one wasn’t all that wonderful. It was entertaining. It held my attention for 100 minutes. Mostly because I liked looking at the Smith kid (he looks just like a stripped down, Pre-Bad Boys, Stockard Channing / Six Degreesish, mop-headed version of his dad). The robot was TUFF. When he emerged from the light at the onset of the ‘attack’, it was like, “Yes! Somebody finna get wrecked!” But he just turned on his humanity-effecting dog whistle. Booo. Hissss.
I was surprised that Jennifer Conolly was a co-star, as she reeks of supporting actress. Either that or Lifetime Televison for Women star. Anyway, the kid and the robot. That’s where the party’s at.
Now, I was asked by a friend who has yet to see this movie to list four movies in order of preference: TDESS, Deep Impact, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow. With such a selection, I was sure I was looking for entertainment value and not cinematography or best screenplay. Here are my picks in order of increasing badassedness:
#1 ARMAGEDDON - For the pretty girl, explosions, and Bruce Willis’ continued sex appeal. And was Owen Wilson in that movie? Wilson and Affleck? Sure, it read like a lobotomized version of Deep Impact, but it had the Aerosmith song to showcase and that’s worth something to me.
#2 DEEP IMPACT - A growing fetus pressed against my bladder caused me to miss the initial meteor impact when I first saw this in the theatres, but seeing it on video and lacking any hot dudes to hold my attention, Deep Impact effectively provoked me to thought and made me want to do stuff that would cause me to be on that Ark list. Plus it gets points for making me believe that there did lie the possibility of having a black president someday and he could be as cool as Morgan Freeman. Maybe even have freckles.
#3 TDESS - One thing I didn’t like about this movie is that it downplayed the intensity and desperation I should’ve felt knowing that robots had come to earth to wipe us out. Keanu kept saying there was nothing I could do to stop it and I believed him. Deep Impact, on the other hand, all of humanity was actively concerned with trying to stop huge chunks of ice from wiping us off the face of the earth and that got my blood pressure up a bit. The robot / locusts kept this movie afloat.
#4 The Day After Tomorrow - It was entertaining. I like how Jake Gyllenhaal and the gang narrowly escaped that ravenous pack of wolves. Jinkies!!
That’s all I have to say about that.
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Ooops, my bad. That’s DECREASING badassedness. And that’s pronounced bad ASS id ness.
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