Geek Gods Gay?
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Not a week after the Supreme Court of Iowa struck down a law banning gay marriage does Sioux City - known as the San Francisco of the state by natives - receive a visit by two famous Hollywood “friends” George “Ewok Daddy” Lucas and Steven “Did you know the Nazis were bad?” Spielberg.
Dominion sources yet to be named (and therefore paid) claim the two were guests of honor at a small formal get-together of family and friends - including suspected cock conaisseur Christensen - in which they spent much time laughing arm-in-arm and whispering in the others’ ear.
Considering that the legalization of same-sex marriages is the last news to come out of Iowa since red-skinned natives were discovered living there in 1673, its no surprise they chose to consummate their taboo love so far from the paparazzi - but our secret citizens abound. No photos have surfaced of George’s ark being raided by Steven’s stormtrooper, but we hope this long time in the making union will clear their heads finally.
The lackluster Indy 4 and the three lukewarm Star Wars prequels have been attributed to these geek icons being old and out-of-touch with today’s audience while pissing off the now near middle aged dudes that made them rich. Perhaps it’s been the case that the longing to admit their love made collaborations tense and unfocused - even bitterness? Spielberg has three Oscars and Kate Capshaw as a beard, despite her weak acting being upstaged by the Asian kid from Goonies, while on-again-off-again bachelor Lucas imprisoned by social stigma has none. Now that their careers are mostly waning they can finally allow themselves to openly show the affection they’ve had for each other for a long time.
One wonders outside of these ideas of twilight romance why it is jokes are focused on the first day of April, when all are expecting some lame April Fools prank. Wouldn’t say … April 8th be more of a surprise? Your Dominus believes so, FOOLS!
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