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I hate marketing because it targets the superficial with flashy imagery and gets people to see a movie at least once. Someone looses one hour and thirty-two minutes, but that’s not an atrocity. What sucks is the number of people they get to spend just $15, which grows into millions if not billions of dollars that somehow communicates this is a good piece.

Actually, that’s idealistic. The mountain of money says, “People like these images, so lets sell them more no matter what thin narrative links them.” And so they do with gusto.

I thought Underworld was okay. Not an exemplar of the action genre, nor bad enough for me to advocate forced castration for writer/director Len Wiseman with a glowing hot Garden Weasel. The sequel was okay mainly cause Beckinsale was more naked in it and it continued an interesting story about the ancient Lycan/Vamp war - pitting our heroes against the first Vampire and Werewolf.

Underworld 3 is a prequel that fleshes out an expositional flashback in the first movie. If you knew this going in I really hoped you’d have told me before I went … Now I hate you.

Rhona Mitra, Beckinsale understudy, has a few combat scenes but without much of the eye-popping affects that the original established. In her defense, she wasn’t out of place with the other cast. Michael Sheen, playing the Lycan leader Lucian, didn’t get an Oscar nod for Frost/Nixon because of his involvement with this installment, if not this series, I‘m convinced.

When you do a prequel the aim is - or fucking should be - to add depth to established characters, especially since you know the gist of how things are going to go down. It’s one of the few successes of the Star Wars prequels. We learn more about Vader - though we make not like Whiney McSand pants. It was revealed in the original that Victor kills Sonja for getting knocked up by Lucian, whom then goes ape shit and frees the Lycans. This flick added nothing much more to the back-story Underworld gave us.

The big Black dude Lycan NEEDS an explanation for what he’s doing in Dark Ages Europe. The love between Sonja and Lucian needs to be clear and real enough to explain why they’d risk so much besides Full Moon Fever. Victor, master of the Vampires, is an asshole arrogant enough to beat the shit out his Lycan slaves tasked with guarding them while they slept during the day … when the moon is full? Brilliant.

The special effects were good but nothing we’ve never seen and it’s a let down made especially potent since really THIS IS THE ONLY REASON TO SEE THIS FLICK! Werewolves are much stronger than Vampires, but Vampires are faster and can use smarter tactics - you’d think. The climax was just werewolves jump the walls and chow down on Vampire.

Don’t rent this. Wait until you get insomnia and catch it on cable by accident three years from now. Assuming you aren’t pissed off by the shit storm Underworld 4 was when you saw it in the future … or remember me saying so here … linked to my review of it … that will be … then?

• Geek Gods Gay? Not a week after the Supreme Court of Iowa struck down a law banning gay marriage does Sioux City - known as the San Francisco of the state by natives - receive a visit by two famous Hollywood "friends" George "Ewok Daddy" Lucas and Steven "Did you know the Nazis were......
• Games, Rules, Design and Dating? WAIT!!! Before you tabletop d20 role-playing game non-fans conclude: “Ah, another uber nerdy D&D treatise that even I‘m too cool for,” then leave this article like you would an undesired plate of free Brussels sprouts (another rare taste craving), let me explain the importance of this hobby - and apologize......

• Review: Cost of Love by Drue Allen by Karin of Savvy Thinker, guest reviewer. No spoiler. The Cost of Love, Drue Allen’s first book, is terrific!  I hope she has more up her sleeve. Genre: romantic suspense Format: hardback Length: 311 pages ISBN 13: 9781594148675 ISBN 10: 1594148678 Publisher: Five Star Author name:  Drue Allen Pub......
• College Graduation Parties   We got back from a fun weekend. We back to our old place (LOL, it's only been like 6 weeks) to celebrate the graduations of my brother in law and one of my dear friends. He's a physical therapy assistant. It's something that fits him as he's athletic......