A Mystery of Music
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WHY THE HELL DOES EVANESCENCE ROCK SO HARD?!?
Better question: why do I feel this way? Some of you may be long-time fans, but I’m just realizing that I am too … kind of.
I’m not a music geek by far. My tastes are a pretty basic combination of ethnic programming and the occasional jam that just strikes me, like Everything She Wants by Wham! Although the true title is Everything HE Wants … in the Men’s Room. When you’re nine, cool is cool. No, I’m not being defensive!
Blues is the point, I think, where R&B and that distorted, guitar-raking stuff white folks adapted from the music they stole - rock - evolutionarily diverge. For something rock-like to appeal to me, I’ve got to be met halfway, usually. Rage Against the Machine: rap angry, but too rock. Linkin Park: Rock taken too far into my precious hip hop. The White Stripes: just bluesy enough usually to not get turned off. Maroon 5: not even trying to be either; pop. Jonas Brothers: Maroon 5 with training wheels and neutered.
Evanescence: sweet rock shit. It makes NO sense!
I like R&B ’cause it’s inextricably linked to pussy like a Pavlovian conditioned response. You meet a chick; you hear the jams she likes. You dance to it. You fuck to it. You commiserate over it when she’s gone … Or dance again to it at your wedding. Then, you listen to it when the marriage falls apart … Or for the rest of your life on date night Wednesday after you’ve done the myriad chores around the house that now counts as foreplay. Then, death.
I love hip-hop - REAL hip-hop, not murder anthems and jewelry commercials - cause it’s the poetic language of my urban generation. Plus, pimp shit is cool universally amongst men. Not hitting women, just having … a surplus. It’s the opposite of R&B ladies; balance in all things!
I’m going to propose a chain of reasoning so I can finally get to sleep (yeah, that‘s why this post is so early). I love hip-hop in part for its sensuality. An outgrowth of it is trip-hop, of which my favorite group is the UK’s Portishead. Lead singer Beth Gibbon’s silky voice is not very much unlike Amy Lee. Evanescence songs start out like Portishead songs, but where the Brits get more smoothly complex in rhythm, their rock counterparts get more melodically powerful - when Lee isn‘t doing her soft ballads.
Portishead is for lounging; Evanescence is for working out or kicking ass at the climax of a movie or role-playing campaign.
WAKE ME UP INSIDE! But, now I’m going to sleep.
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