A Transporter Review without Spoilers
Despite the overblown gimmicky action ride - and practice session for Crank - that was Transporter 2, I decided to give the franchise a new break by seeing Transporter 3: There in 30 seconds, or I’ll kick your ass! Not the actual tagline, yet apparently one of Frank Martin’s (Jason Statham) many unspoken rules. Rule one: touch my suit and I’ll kill you with it. That’s the only spoiler I’ll be giving, read on.
The first in the series, aptly named Transporter because putting the number one in the title would be a bit presumptuous, was just excellent. We never see the mercenary wheelman - let alone one that ’s machine accurate and by book played to cool effect. From 30-year Hong Kong veteran director Corey Yuen, you be surprised … if you’d heard of him before, unlike me. His other movies read like a list of entrees on the menu of China Star Number One Golden Egg Roll Palace, but are harshly distinct single words when translated, like The Doctor, Bartender and Cameo. Shu Qi was a sexy handful Martin could barely mange with a heart of gold and mouth of lies (here name too, Lai) with visible chemistry.
The fight choreography was Rapid Fu done well and set in interesting scenes. An oiled up dude skating around beating ass was great, along with the acrobatics of the bus scene. This action inspired that in Transporter 2, which evidently Louis Leterrier took as a challenge to one up. He fuck’in 7 upped it! The bomb on the bottom of the car was knocked off with the crane? Jumping parking structure buildings? The sex kitten with twin Uzi’s that preferred to fight in her underwear and always ended up wet? Was Roger Moore in this, or Pierce Brosnan? It blew its action load early leaving us with a sappy story - Martin working out some paternal issues - and progressively more ridiculous stunts. Odd for Leterrier, since his Jet Li movie Unleashed - in which the actor actually, you know, acted - and his take on The Incredible Hulk this year were very good flicks. Too much brandy in his crepes perhaps.
The third one isn’t quite as good as the first but is easily better than part deux. Oliver Megaton didn’t bomb on this one by keeping it simple - for us stupids. Not that the first one was deep but there was a bit of complexity with what the real stakes were with Lai lying so much. The stakes were set out in the beginning and you forget them by action sequence two. Some of the camera usage was beginning to scare me, getting a bit Tony Scott in some scenes, but was well done if a bit on the choppy side of Rapid Fu. The sequences were well paced through and built well to a crescendo at the climax. Overtop, hell yeah. The key is get crazy near the end though. Never did it get ridiculous as in the previous incarnation.
Love interest 2 - let’s not count the kid in the first sequel - is damsel in distress Valentina (yeah, that’s the sexist pic she has), whom doesn’t compare to Shu Qi in looks or acting. Kind of like a Ukrainian girl next door that didn’t have that great between the legs camera shot that the Asian actress could pull off (if I could find the clip I’d link it, it’s after they swim from his burning house) but perceptive enough to get Frank minimalist lifestyle - insightful, I guess. François Berléand appears again as Martin’s only friend the French police inspector and actually does some detective work on his own to get to the bottom of things.
Overall a nice change of pace from the FX budget = good action flick paradigm. Transport yourself to the movies to check it out in 30 minutes, or get choked out with suit sleeves sucka!
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Wow Dig you got skills! I usually don’t like reading film reviews, especially online but I really enjoyed it. I’m a sucker for both Transporters, but I will not even attempt to defend the second one. There are very few action films that make my heart flutter but this is a gem. I have pretty much resigned that I should wait for the DVD you made me a believe and I will run out to see, or just wait for the Mister to take me. Thank you for the spoil free post.
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Thank you
Hope you enjoy it
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