Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

A few months ago the trailer for Watchman dropped and every comic geek I know creamed themselves over what it promised: the grittiest most original comic movie in a generation of excellent films in the genre. So adoring was their relentless felatio, I had to check out the graphic novel for myself.

Was it clear that they were felating the advertisement - and not I? Had it been me, out of respect for their … fanatical gender-bending enthusiasm, I’d have finished it by now - instead of being on the last chapter - plus have written on it several times as well. Since this wasn’t the case (thankfully, glory holes are so impersonal) I’ll merely say that so far Watchman is interesting and I‘ll likely see the movie whenever it comes out.

I’m making you squeamish to make this point: I saw this trailer before the Quantum of Solace …

Yeah … I’ll let you Trekkies clean up after that nerdgasm. No shame. I’m typing this in a towel with my pants in the hamper and drinking green Gatorade - while pretending it‘s Aldebaran whisky.

Looks packed with action out the gills but the characterization of Kirk and Spock seems most intriguing. I’ve never really wondered how two opposite dudes could become such great buds. One a brash human that deserves a triple ass whup’in for destroying that vintage Corvette - or Mustang, I’m no motor head car geek - and the other a half alien recluse smart ass that’s stronger than you and three friends. The car can be forgiven since they don’t value money - but fuck, it‘s five-century-old mint! If the story line involves Kirk getting Spock laid through his first Pon Farr that could work but would be inanely sophomoric.

More than likely these tattooed bad guys (retro Klingons?) have driven the stakes so high both must bond over their duty to Starfleet and perhaps Captain Pike. Sylar is looking good as young Spock, but Zoe Saldana looks a little slender to be Uhura. I guess several more years of red bean cubes and yellow cornbread wedges could give her the signature thickness we‘ve come to expect from the first hot sistah on TV. Young Jimmy Kirk looks at bit too pretty for my tastes but fuck it - he’s just got to overreact and be awesome.

I’ve said I liked Cloverfield, and am not a fan of giant monsters that come from nowhere, the parasites they carry nor vomit inducing shaky handed camera operation. These Trek prequels look to overcome the issues Star Wars had: a leapt to conclusion fueled only by avid fan boy optimism. Abrams - or whoever the hell edited this trailer - did their job and I’m MANICALLY pumped for May 9th, 2009.

*swaps out Gatorade for Captain Morgan’s* Cheers!