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In my net perusing, I came across this summons to action some of you may have read, if not heeded. To protect you my citizens from being stamped upon by the burly boots of fundamentalism, I hereby decree a Dominion sponsored faith we can all get behind: SUBMIT TO BOCCOB!

Whenever you face a vexing decision in life ponder, “What would Boccob do?” (WWBD) and do the smart thing, cast the appropriate spell, shift to another dimension with better options or do nothing at all - Big B doesn’t really give a shit.

The lack of faith this article contains threatens a lack of faith in US society - don‘t they know their own dogma? Atheism need not be illegal when big G is going to cast non-believers into a hot tub of magma to receive “enhanced romance” - not unlike enhanced interrogation, but rape - from Ben Grim, for all eternity clobber‘in that ass. The Thing’s stance on religion is notably unclear, but even if he were saved wouldn’t any rock monster be just as bad? Look at those fists, like geting fingered by Mount Everest!

Disillusionment with this society comes from the sad fact that the author of this “opinion” has voting power equal to my own: 1 divided by the non-felon voting adult population of the US - roughly equal to the strength of the Euro versus the dollar. We have the Democrats to blame for this, whom created the popular vote to put Andrew “Old Hickory” “Indian Killer” “Check me on the 20, bi-atch” Jackson into office. He was such an ass that animal became the party symbol - funny because it’s true - and the popular vote was created to ensure that one hundred and eighty years later the dumbest fucks have as much say in world leadership as Dominion citizens.

Return to the Electoral College only election? Hells no! We’ve come a long way over the decades. Information technology educates the populace on candidates as well as the megalomaniac inclinations of lonely grandeur-deluded geeks, Cholera is no longer a threat and people have accepted that regularly bathing is a good thing - sadly not all. In a crunch, the Supreme Court has proven a poor substitute as well.

Mob rule? Fuck no! I can’t even name two state senators, the presumed sons of bitches - can’t judge from ignorance - that chose the electoral college for our state’s meaty 17 votes. Anarchy is a nice symbol when it’s cut into your black t-shirt as you paint your nails to match your ashen lipstick, dude, but it’s another thing to have ot for real. I’ve seen enough Animal Planet and Discovery Channel to know the state of nature law of the jungle is too rugged for a pussy that shits in a toilet and eats with utensils murder-virgin like me. OK, I would murder someone wearing that much tie-dye.

Ghandi said “You can judge a society by how they treat their weakest members.” Whether or not the wisdom of this diaper wearing hunger-demented foreigner extended to the weakest mentally is the question. The answer in the US is: yes, they can. So, until this can be rectified, da Dominion is your brain’s refuge.

Boccob bless you this election day … but he probably won’t.

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