Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

This is the best book review you’ll ever read because afterwards I can effectively GIVE you the book to experience yourself. If you’re hardcore against socialism - and have been therefore fervently buying things from our sponsors to pay for the beauty of my written word - you can choose not to watch the player below, however I view it as being “neighborly” like Obama would say to evade the socialist label.

The book is New Rules: Polite Musing from a Timid Observer by Bill “God, Schmod” Maher, and an attempt to codify common sense morals for a world gone adrift in social relativism. Not quite a revival of the good old social codes of the fifties: tipping your hat to people on the streets and slapping your wife only with the palm side, but just polite considerations to show our fellow humans.

These rules are simple things that point out the ridiculous status of our American culture without being depressingly critical, yet honest enough to be generally insulting. An example: the best place for a cell phone in a movie theatre is set to vibrate and crammed up your ass. He further adds the problem of ubiquitous phones is so acute he can’t hear the Black people yelling at the screen. The book is nothing but these musings - and no one is more the antithesis of a “timid observer” than the author.

Of course being Maher the rules run into political flavored social commentary but stops well short of dominating the book; he saves these topics primarily for his show. And there in lies the rub: if you watch Real Time on HBO, or have access to Youtube, you can enjoy less dated New Rules than the book offers for free and without a trip to the library like I made. Search for “New Rules the movie HOSSER10580″ (or a click here for you lazy asses) and you’ll get a lot of the same material in ten-minute clips like this:

Notice at two minutes and two seconds into the clip, Maher says the same goddamn thing I’m telling you here. In his defense, since Maher is half Jewish, can he really help trying to resell the same product? If you laughed at the black people at the movies line above, yet consider this last sentence offensive, console yourself with some Preparation H for your inflamed sensibilities.

Once in a while at a convention, at a pick-up game or joining your group will be a guy that plays a female character. I’ve found ten deep breaths through the nostrils and out the mouth Miyagi-style is enough to keep your stomach contents down. If not, choose the bag of chips you dislike least and spew into that - I’d go with Bugles myself, their flavor can’t be worsened.

There is nothing wrong with a guy playing a female, or a chick playing a male … in theory. Gamer girls can get away with murder since their presence at the table may be closest thing you’ve had to a date in months ( or ever). Another point in their favor is that they’re playing dudes, which is infinitely more easy as there’s plenty of examples to base her portrayal off of. Grab the biggest most damaging weapon in the shop, kill anything that’s ugly or anyone that says “No” to her, try to fuck any female NPC in line of sight, and speak little (OK, maybe not that easy for her). In many groups, she’ll fit right in, if not receive marriage proposals by the end of the session.

Guys have the issues in my experience with hetereo-playing - playing the other sex. The best and most “enlightend” will confuse the equality of women with the their similarity to men. Aside from the occasional Seduction check for the city guard, stormtrooper, big bad guy or male deity (and reap the golden shower) there’s no difference in the character. This seems to defeat the purpose of playing another gender in the first place. Pointless, but by far the best of the bad scenarios possible.

Other gamer guys, in an effort to really showcase their acting range, go the whorrific route. Every character with a penis get’s flirted with like crazy. They speak in high pitched cracking voices that wouldn’t be less girly if they weren’t spraying nacho crumbs. They bat their eyelashes and lock eyes coyly when speaking to you, another dude. They cross their flabby arms to perk up a set of man-tits in place of their character’s double d’s … 10 breaths … get the Bugles, *herg*. Homophobic, no. Homo-nauseating, HELL YEAH!

I’ve played one PC female before: Telanie Took, a halfling Ranger that was more flighty than flirty but loved foot massages. As a DM that prides himself on playing up my NPCs, I’ve played many females in that respect. The best focus I find is on speech and mannerism without getting into stereotypical touches. Having female gamers helps because they can provide examples to model yourself after. If you have to do sex stuff go into third person narration: “She undoes your breeches and reaches for the Universal Lubricant.” DO NOT DO IMPRESSIONS, especially of any woman that you’ll be requesting sex of! Women are masters of communication and will read into them ultra deep - incubating resentment to be hatched later.

Still have doubts? Ask yourself: What Would Xena Do?

A web comic - like many venues on the internet - is a way to get your creativity out there without the traditional approval of editors and publishers - whom often care less about your work than the filthy vulgar piles of money it can generate.

Without this level of quality control an artist has free reign to craft the tales they want, but can also suck pretty hard without the critical feedback of co-investors - since any that dislike your work won’t mention it as they leave your site for the hentai page of anthropomorphic school girls sexually exploring themselves at Soapy Massage Academy they originally meant to find when the grace of Google brought your link to their attention. Tarol Hunt’s Goblins may cause a few to stick around, and doesn’t even need fan service to do so.

The art is a good cartoony style with heavy illustrational elements - this shows my ignorance of art terms but click the above link and you’ll see what I mean. Anatomical proportion is generally observed with nice inking and coloring indicative of *gasp* formal art training!?! This is a welcome change for the eye given the abundance of crude etchings and simplistic composition on the net. Those that showcase such amateur skill usually make up for it with good story and dialogue out of necessity, yet Goblins includes both.

The premise is a group of D&D style goblins decide to go adventuring to gain levels as heroes to defend their way of life, as opposed to just being sword fodder like their ancestors. Each are well-developed characters with naming styles that fit them: the big eared Big Ears, Complains of Names who is an internal critique of the comic and the tropes it covers, the comic relief Fumbles, and the rightly neurotic Dies Horribly. Many of the jokes derive from game rules defining reality, which isn’t original but is conservatively placed such that you forget this is a RPG story and it’s funny to be reminded. The tale is closer to an epic saga than most others and highlighted with graphic scenes of ultra violence that often gets narrated in actual games as “You take out his last hitpoints. He dies.” Here is what that statement actually looks like.

Its feature is also flaw however since art that good takes time. Hunt has gotten out a little over a hundred stripsin the past three years. I read through the past episodes in a few hours, got hooked, now I have to wait a week or more for a page worth of advancement. Order of the Stick has nearly six times as many two-page episodes in about the same amount of time on the net. Such exposure and the fan base it creates has let its creator do the strip full time and pen several books of back story that he charges money for. This is just one competitor and there are many others. As good as Goblins is, it’s easy to forget with irregular posting at this pace and the other options available.

Hunt does sell books , has a donation box, and does a fundraising strip - where plot points get reached when donation reach a goal - but would see a lot more revenue with methodically regular updating and a quicker story pace. I hope it works out for him cause this tale is to good to go the way of good strips like …. uh … the kind made so obscure that I can’t even recall their titles anymore.

Hunin, Rib, Angie and I talk about our favorite TV shows in a fiercely competitive way - Ok, Hunin and I do. The ladies ally on many of their choices to balance our ire. Joss Whedon’s ass bears three sets of lip prints. The Tribune of Thought lays down some principles of comedies and the place of TV in his love life. My older cousin tells us of past shows we missed. I lay out the mad genius of 30 Rock and dirty grit of The Shield. Rib wonders on the absence of Black shows.

Dominion Cast 8 download (55 mins, 49 mb)

Music by St. Adam and Reno Project
Topics were too damn wild to index, so here’s some links to those shows mentioned:
Whedontastic: Buffy and Firefly
Hunter: Works for Us
Chef
Home Movies (you decide)
Deep Space Nine (not … Stargate SG1)
30 Rock’in It
Mackey on the Attackey!!<
The Boondocks: Heir to Chappelle

To suggest show ideas, comment here, in our forums or email Dominus at DaDominion dot com

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-e823a0e05e56c06e2a69bdf3954f05f6}
   

Last night, I went to sleep with a report about Sarah Palin’s return to Alaska, and I awoke this morning to more about Sarah Palin. I may have had another Dr. Melfi dream because of it. I’ve had enough of Sarah Palin. Having said that, here’s an article on the problem with Sarah Palin.

I’m dubious as to how much Affleck contributed on “Good Will Hunting”, from his taste in scripts from the flicks he stars in, but Matt Damon we can credit as a good storyteller.

The choice to pick her seems a deliberate move to stir things up in a sensational way. She has an “interesting story”, story not in the sense of the traditional historical account of fact that was the goal of journalism, but story as in a personal tale. A mayor of a small town made governor of a small state, population less than the city I live in, that gets picked to be number two of the executive branch of US government. The End. Fascinating isn’t it? No? That’s the issue: the tactical reason McCain chose her is the real question that’s never really been answered, nor is it dug into.

Politically, it makes great sense. You canNOT use Bush to support you, especially when your affiliation with him is the chief talking point of the Dems. What you want to do to shore up party support is take Bush from eight years back and put lipstick on him - effectively. Red state governor, outdoorsy, folksy, pro-drilling, pro-life, pro-creationist, loose daughter(s): lots of overlap. Plus, she has the added benefit of a journalism background, is well spoken and has only smoked weed that we know of. Change “experience” to “change and reform” and it’s enough to get some independents looking, though it’s huge insult to their theoretical intelligence.

Or, this is what we’re led to believe. The media is a big agent of overdramatization to get ratings, and are often too squeamish about cutting into these VIPs from a fear of loss of access. I’ve found more hard fact on the election from the internet in a few hours than I could get from a few days of CNN or years of FOX. I’m sick of seeing stump speeches, called this because they are to oratory what a stump is to a tree. Unscripted interrogation, with or without stress positions but guaranteed mild sleep deprivation, is the way to get know a possible leader of the free world.

McCain has been keeping his wing mate tucked in the nest until tonight, while Obama is going into the O’Reilly Factor with spear and shield. Before folks conflate this, it is not meant to be a subtle “spear-chucker” racist defamation. Opening your policy to scrutiny shows a presence of balls to me - not a sexist slander on Palin. All this yellow journalism is a blemish on the fourth of state - which isn’t a jab at McCain’s skin cancer. It’s just taking us off track - not an implicit wish that Biden’s daily commute by Amtrak end in tragedy.

The later is especially not the case; Joey B. has tapped my own gubernatorial make-up donned pitbull to sharpen his weapons for the VP debate in October. One on one sparring is what I’m hankering for. All this rhetorical hype bullshit flung back and forth isn’t doing it for me, the last thing the media needs to do is focus on it.

I’ll still keep watching from the same interest that attracts me to conflict and tactics - only the stakes are MUCH higher than the love of Flavor Flav.