Clone of Star Wars
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Although Temuera Morrison is a bad ass Kiwi and well respected actor, especially in roles where he beats the wife or kills European bad guys with a tribal spear or gun, which ever is handy and period appropriate, this isn’t about him. It is relevant though to point out that not even he, who has added his voice to many Star Wars video games, was onboard with this new Star Wars: The Clone Wars … “movie” (linking to this would make me an enabler).
Ian McDiarmid didn’t show for Palpatine and though Sam Jackson did show up for his 3 to 4 lines it was likely the favor to be named later Lucas traded him for the pimp-purple lightsaber years back. In between serious dramatic roles, like beating the skank out of Christina Ricci, he’s the only trilogy actor to be connected with this. Anthony Daniels showed too for a few lines, but what the fuck else is he doing - polishing the thigh plates on the old suit when not in full costume serving as a butler at Skywalker Ranch?
I enjoyed Cartoon Network’s Clone Wars mini-series so was willing to check out a big screen version. Also, if I may have a moment of vulnerability, I think every deep Star Wars fan in their heart or hearts is looking for a redeeming piece to re-embrace the franchise. Darth George anticipated this weakness, and after bisecting your Dominus from belly to heart to shoulder, looted my wallet for another few bucks.
The 2D animation on the TV series was better than the movie. It had the look of a stop-motion Tim Burton movie but even choppier. Animated lips only often matched the words being spoken. Sabers flashed brightly and punctuated every maneuver in combat, completely aborting the fluid Wushu style of the prequels. I would have minded less if they spliced in a Ryan versus Dorkman clip. There was a duel scene in the series of Ventress fighting Anakin in a jungle with rain steaming off their sabers - nothing in this movie approaches that scene.
Lucas and Gilroy’s story doesn’t really acknowledge the TV show but doesn’t do it’s own exposition either. There’s not even an opening crawl. We learn from an old timey news reel like scene that Jabba’s son - yeah, son - has been kidnapped by the unknown forces and that the Republic must save him or the Hutt Clan leader will give his support to the Separatists. This follows the logic of the universe mostly, as the Jedi are a baby saving type and Jabba would be dick enough to extort them into a favor. Twist one is that the Separatist have actually kidnapped the larva, so foregone a conclusion they make no attempt to hide and have their droids defending the plot in the open.
Once Annie and his new pad wan save the kid - yes, Yoda has given a learner to mister dangerously powerful and moody. Ahsoku is this jailbait alien chick that is reckless and wise cracks on Anakin, but often shows better judgment than he does. I like her mainly for the reverse grip lightsaber style that one of my player characters used in an old campaign - Nicole’s Cythe Nocturne. Dooku tells Jabba the Jedi plan to kill the kid. Showing a holo-image of Annie and the learner taking care of the baby Hutt proves this. The crime boss of the Outer Rim, whom is too wise to be Force suggested, completely buys this lie although the Jedi are SUPPOSED TO BE WITH THE KID!
That taste in the back of your mouth is bile. I went to the men’s room at this point and considered leaving but returned to get my jollies by mentally changing my perceptions Zen/JedI style to make this movie a spoof. Didn’t help much. Turns out there’s a side plot with a Truman Capote-like Uncle of Jabba’s helping Dooku with the scheme. This existed solely to bring in Padme, and therefore gave Daniels screen time, to have a little piece of the adventure. Came off like an afterthought and the time could’ve been better spent on say … story or character development?
Spoiler alert, the ending is happy. This is for kids that are 6 to 8 years old, whom pay no attention to story but like flashy colors. Everyone else shouldn’t even wait for DVD. When it comes to cable, and there’s nothing else on, watch it. If History Channel is showing a program on Greek-era sewage treatment, TiVo this movie.
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Dat was out code.
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I drank the Kool-Aid, too. I mean, it’s new Star Wars material, I had to go see it.
Having said that….yeah, the Cartoon Network stuff was better than this. The story was pretty straightforward, which was fine - nothing integral to Star Wars canon was going to be defined here. It was a story that happened along the way. So I didn’t expect much going in.
Unfortunately, the animation gave me less than that. The lightsaber duels were particularly painful to watch.
Eh. I wanted a Star Wars fix, and I got it. Now, off to go watch Obi-Wan and Anakin duel Count Dooku again.
(And Christopher Lee voiced Count Dooku in the film.)
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Painful, yet in no way can I disagree with you. I can only image that at some point late into Lucas’ early career that senility had set in and nobody had the heart to tell him or the power to get him diagnosed. Star Wars is supposed to appeal to every one, not just the Gaia online set. Yet with each new installment, it only gets worse to the point that even Magnoliafan has to throw his hands up and proclaim that nothing can be salvaged.
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Yeah, I forgot Christopher Lee.
He’s no longer in many movies so I don’t begrudge him snatching a Lucasfilm paycheck.
Lucas has admitted to not being the best writer before, Episode IV took him years to perfect. Episode III he did over a weekend, without the aid of Kasdan or Brackett from the classic trilogy - the best of which were’nt even directed by George.
He’s more CEO than artist now; unspired and greedy.
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[...] Although Temuera Morrison is a bad ass Kiwi and well respected actor, especially in roles where he beats the wife or kills European bad guys with a tribal spear or gun, which ever is handy and period appropriate, this isn’t about him. It is relevant though to point out that not even he, who has adde … Source: Clone of Star Wars [...]
[...] Were the whole saga abortion the fault of the GM, like a greedy famous director long bereft of creativity and taste, you couldn’t get a group to stay the first session - unless you once were great, that could [...]