Reader Redemption
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Despite the great power I wield as Dominus, I can not absolve you of your sins. I could absolve you but whether or not it takes isn’t up to me, and by the time you test this out it’s too late. You’re in Hell, burning with a pitchfork up your ass playing Sega Master System with a busted controller where each lost life equals a 360 twist of the rectal tool and country music is blasting away with full tremble.
My own sins I’m completely responsible for, and intend to tackle one I’ve shared before - it’s not looking at Vanessa Hudgens’ pics ! That bitch is 19, that’s fair game! High School Musical is not a documentary, it’s a fuck’in musical - so I didnt watch it, my standards won’t allow. She’s not your precious Hanna Montana (BTW, eew)! It’s not kiddie porn, it’s barely legal! You dont check out Mila Kunis? They’re nearly the same chick, hypocrite!
… deep calming breath …
The issue: my lack of quality reading. A good writer should read to be inspired and rip off masters of the field; the last paragraph attests to qualities I could improve - taste for example. This allegedly being a comedy blog, you’d think I’d read books by comedians - nope, not a one. George Carlin has been elevated to deity of the Dominion Pantheon, couldn’t I honor the old genius fuck with reading Naplam & Silly Putty, Brain Droppings, or When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? I chuckle just saying the last title cause He was Jewish and wouldn’t eat pork chops, although many Christians do, although the Bible says it’s an abomination, like being gay, but you’ll beat up a guy’s boyfriend then go to a barbeque and have ribs - not that gay bashing and babeque are linked it’s just that the same people enjoy both I bet? Focus, that’s another quality to be improved.
“I’m in between jobs currently, and cable’s been canceled, so I’ll finish Heinlein and promise to try to hope to endeavor to get some more classy reading done.” - Digga, that lying ass.
Technically true, I’m 15 pages closer to the end of Heinlein. It was classy reading and I’ve done more of it; naysayers will be lemon juice boarded (water boarding with a citrus zing). I’m not gonna blame the job hunt nor reacquistion of cable through AT&T U-verse - nor will I go into a commercial aside on it’s merits.
Eye fatigue, that’s it! When you stare at a screen as much as I do, more reading seems like less of a recreation and more like the treatment scene from A Clockwork Orange. Pretty flimsy this being the information age where everyone reads all the time, a many vain assholes write blogs to further make you read for entertainment just to sate their hungering for attention and desperate need for validation from strangers … loser fucks.
AUDIO BOOKS! Yes, this is the solution. They cut out the pesky time devotion but give all the benefits without intruding on my multitasking lifestyle - if you can count doing three things in an average day such a lifestyle. I listen to podcasts, make podcasts, will be recording a podcast on books today. It’s like a podcast, but longer, with only one person, talking about the same topic, every time, in a voice that may annoy you, over and over.
I wonder if High School Musical 2 is on DVD yet?
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