Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

That’s a double entendre title. Firstly: if there is any movie that should not be spoiled it is Batman: Dark Knight. Be gratified readers that I will restrain the fervor of my praise for the movie by not giving away any specifics that would reveal ANYTHING. It’s so well written that I’m not sure that I could communicate enough the experience it creates - yes, high praise from an arrogant ass such as myself.They’ve been flooding the airwaves with trailers showing scenes of action with explosions and bat motorcycles and cryptic lines from the characters. The surprising beauty though is that these scenes do nothing to spoil the film cause it’s so MUCH more than that. We’re enticed with small sections of the masterpiece but it’s true magnificence is in the painting. If you’re the type to watch movies twice, you’ll watch this one three times. It’s fucking operatic, without the booming Italian singing, with a truly Shakespearian storyline - but no one says “For soothe“ or calls the bad guys “varlets“.

An insanely anal discussion of satire: what it is, ain’t, and who uses it by Anne (DairyQueen), Hunin and yours truly. From biting satire, we talk about the prevalent cynicism in our culture that fuels it. We then conclude with views on the politics that are victim to the lowered expectations brought on by our social climate.
Better organized with … not as bad sound quality (click our ad links and we can get better hardware).

Yo Joe! Intro
Satire Defined and Satire vs Homage, vs Spoof
New Yorker cover
Satirical Perceptions
Spoof v. Satire: ROUND TWO
Liberals and Conservatives
Comedy Continuum - Americas “Funniest” Home Videos theme
Mumbling on Cynicism
Emos and the Community of Sorrow - Goodbye Horses by William Garvey and Q Lazzarus
Air of Acceptance
Entitlement for Everyone
Trends of Culture and Evolution
Race, Politics, and Progress - Time for some Campaign’in by JibJab
Thundercats Outro

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-e823a0e05e56c06e2a69bdf3954f05f6}

Tough week for Obama, huh? He’s outed as a terrorist, threatened with castration, and talks down to niggas. After his Herculean effort at not letting his race be an issue for his election, the dreaded N-word rises from it’s grave, tunneling through the concrete of Hart Plaza Detroit like John Henry through iron, to drag his taupe mulatto ass back to the plantation.

Watch:

The New Yorker cover is patently satire despite igniting faux uproar on the very media channels that have questioned or brought up his fictional Islamic radicalism - i.e. ridiculous bullshit. We‘ll discuss this - audibly and in an organized fashion - on the next Dominion Cast coming soon. Barack’s negritude has never been seriously in question, although some have asked is he black enough. Race, being a social construct based on physical traits, in which one drop of African blood makes you black for several generations, he‘s definitely black. By this convention he maybe blacker than me, who has been passively intimidating non-blacks and serving as “my black friend” for years. The things I’ll do for the promise of grape drink.

Chet, the news reporter, asks the question whether black folks speaking to other black folks refering to black folks as “niggas” is offensive. To us spades, the obvious answer is NO Suh! Is he asking this of whites, no doubt part of his audience, as well? The answer doesn’t matter, since if the freedom to say the word hurts you you’re a racist anyway and should suffer. We won this in the battle for civil rights: an extra word taken from your lexicon and bragging rights during the month of February - a 28 day division of the European calendar aptly named from the Latin word for purification, as we can take a prolonged shit of historical grievances on y’all and affirm our strength.

Had our ancestors been able to keep their native languages, we could’ve conversed in that patois and this whole issue would have never come up. What do Hispanics call themselves in Spanish? Who gives a fuck? How about a compromise? With the power I wield as the handsome witty genius Dominus of this the Dominion of Digg (until the other digg tries to sue us and we end up changing the name) it is my DECREE that citizen posters may refer to African Americans as simply “black”. A six-syllable discount in expression!

The real issue is hypocrisy. Jesse Jackson, this self-righteous nigga, said the word should die. He attended it’s funeral in Detroit, as opposed to Mississippi or Virginia - it’s mostly likely birth place, and yet still uses it. Mr. Rainbow coalitions “hymie town” comments cost him his shot and now he’s hating on Obama - who’s transcended the divisive politics Jackson banked on.

Thanks for enduring this rant that has been stated more succinctly by esteemed others.

Poor, poor Elizabeth.

Not another message about the dangers of STD’s reminiscent of dozens of middle and high school “Keep it in Your Pants” presentations - but perhaps your school was less sluttish than mine. This article will assume we’re adults (beat it kids! … literally) and we know how to protect ourselves.

Prudishness is a defense against sexual obsession and indulgence, which I’m sure if unchecked would raise public morale but leave production ironically flaccid. Doing the new temp in the stairwell of the loading dock can be fun, but complicates professional relationships, sullies the cleanliness of professional attire (if you’re doing it right), and sidetracks co-workers with lurid rumor and gossip. Grey’s Anatomy via interactive play at your place of work can be as irresistible to many …women  … as Sandra Oh‘s face is repellant to many men … me.

On the other hand, you may get shot down. Although you aren’t a hater, many requests made of the co-worker may appear resentful. “I’ve got to tabulate all this data cause I didn’t want to upload him? Bastard! Better do it before I get laid off.”  This is the root of sexual harassment by creation of a perceived hostile workspace. Women have enough burdens without co-workers drooling over them too, which also sullies professional appearance. Adult men should be able to control themselves, through sheer practice and mostly do. Although, some societies even censor the distraction on the way to work:

Chilean See Ass

We’ve got women dressed less than that on US streets, and their lap dances are a lot more … engaging. Can’t Chilean strippers practice their intricate art in whatever spaces are available to them? Do they need that armored truck to haul her off? I thought the Nazis fled to Argentina.

Luckily, society has created marriage to harness and domesticate the sex drive, turning the wild wolf into a neutered cockapoo. If the threat of divorce can control appetite, it can or will magnify the desire as well. Even if a spouse cheats, it’s still less sex than if everyone was single. Most - men - safely regress to the adolescent relief of their past, resulting in this:

The Lovemobile

If his car were full of Fabio-covered “romance” novels would it be suck an issue? Besides wrist strain and personal dehydration, what’s the worst he can do? Panties hung on display in a mall store window are ok, but not in dude’s car? I thought the Nazis fled to Argentina. Leopard skin seat covers: that’s the true crime. Put him under the jail for those.

It can be somewhat flattering when you’re site is deemed important enough to warrant a spambot, but mostly it’s just a fuck’in annoyance.

I log on today to see a new name has pledged fealty and allegiance to the Dominion - much as many of you have (read the fine print of the social network). Chicken Wrestler I at first thought was Tech-lord Hunin - from the unfathomable hatred with which he eats chicken to the exclusion of nearly any other animal, rendering intelligent discussions of comparative cuisine moot and fueling the stereotypes of black people. It is not he, whom now wrestles baked chickens health wisely, though.

Immediately I go to this new citizen’s profile to learn what insights are being brought to our community and learn that I can get ring tones on Ning and green tea based weight loss products. This is NOT insightful; this is spam. This is corporate ejaculate sprayed upon the virtual columns of our hallowed halls - akin to masturbating in a church confessional. SACRILEDGE!

Robots, officially pronounced “Rho-butts” in the Dominion as popularized by Dr. Zoidberg and defining their dense (rho from physics) ass quality, are speculative threats of the future present today as symbols in fiction and as roles assumed by humans. C3PO or R2, which is cooler? 3PO, closer to the true rho-butt ideal, is best enjoyed when he’s being abused having his head misplaced, blown into pieces by storm troopers, or being eye gouged by Salacious Crumb. He lacks balls. R2 is cooler because he’s not a prissy coward concerned only for his function but gets in there as a hero fixing ships during combat, saving Luke’s mom from molten metal and burning enemy droids in grease fires.

Another heroic automaton is the Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth class; titular charter of the Pixar hit Wall-E. This movie was great for it’s focus on character like that of the Incredibles, and I rank it as high. The first third establishes this once lonesome hero through acts instead of exposition, “Show don’t Tell” storytelling that adds too much (?) empathy. Action is present in the film in content and subtext. Earth is ruined to the point of human abandonment; leaving what was once an army of similar models of robots to clean up the world but of centuries has only our protagonist remains.

When the first plant on the planet returns to existence, it is he that gets the message to the fat sedate descendants of humanity whom are catered to by rho-butts that have taken over the role of controlling their lives and destinies. The typical battle of man versus machine is a central theme but it’s done in a Disney hallmarked, kid-friendly way that still retains tension and communicates an important, if overwrought, message about the danger to our environment combined with an illustration of the possible degradation of humanity through modern convenience. Check it out if you haven‘t.

Chicken Wrestler serving as a spambot is likely though an actual person, possessing the ability to circumvent the community’s security. Instead of the respectful approach of a fellow net entrepreneur, arranging ad space etc, this person forces commercials into our group consciousness. It’s viral marketing, and let’s recognize that references to a virus is aptly not a good thing. This poor bastard is employed as a vector of transmission - like a medieval rat or flea.

We are all guilty in a sense given that much of our limited time on Earth is whored into the service of some soulless automaton - in the form of our employers - for necessities. Our Dominion is however a bastion of unbridled humanity in the form of creativity in self-expression without undo censorship and discussion of our world through the gift of sapience.

NO RHO-BUTTS ALLOWED.