Animal Allies
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Nasty, I know. Click it … click it … CLICK IT!
Three things off the bat:
1. Now our immigrants are loosing their jobs to foreign animals.
2. WHAT THE FUCK, disgusting!
3. Those are some smart ass fish.
Asians, Mexicans, Indians, say hello to Turkish-trained Doctor fish. Odd, this seems to violate the cycle of extra-national cheap labor in American history. By the trend, these fish should be Irish - the low-cost high-work immigrants of the 17th century . What about the brothas? We don’t count since back then we were considered best of the domesticated animals .
Have we plumbed the depths of humans? I’ve never seen a New Guinean busboy, or an Incan street walker. OK, not in this country. Can’t we give the rest of our species a chance for the fucked up jobs nobody else wants, like scraping the ash off the hooves our obese yuppie-girls and porcine soccer Moms?
“The Warm Tickle Water” treatment they’ll call it - or, “Wom Tikwah Dur tree-men” as Ms. Nguyen would promote. Cadaver-eating fish footbath just won’t sell, but is the truth. I’m getting cremated when I kick to screw the food chain. Pure carbon ash, bitch! No play for the maggots. I’m pissed enough for the free meal I give mosquitoes, dust mites, occasional illness germs and the various make-you-stink bacteria
About peddies: Let me PAY $45 to dip my dogs in dirty water - you KNOW they don’t always change it - with a swarm of hungry fish and you, loyal citizens, may take this as a sign of insanity in your lord. You have a responsibility to depose me by force, crash the site and beat my bare back with salted willow switches. I don’t where flip-flops or sandals, nor do I hate them like Dairy Queen so my feet are on a personal intimacy level a few rungs beneath my junk in privacy and location. If my pedal appearance is an issue in a relationship, I’ll put the pumice to these puppies. Failing that, the endurance of ugly feet is what makes it love. I overlook your physical imperfections - and if you have none - I’m rich or powerful, so shut the hell up imaginary trophy girlfriend/wife!
If the salon owners are to be ridiculed, the fish are to be praised. GREEN ALERT! With our ever-encroaching dominance of this planet, the other species better get some damn talent or risk extinction. Cattle , chickens, and pigs won’t go dinosaur, but pay a high price for being ABSOLUTELY delicious many different ways. Dogs and cats have it good as our sidekicks, especially cats being the natural assholes and dog being perverts . All envy the horse, noble prince of beasts. Not even used for transport anymore - but may if gas keeps going up - they just have to race on occasion, carry cops, pull carriages on fancy dates, and star in the occasional fetish film which they don’t seem to mind. These fish have lucked into a slot above food and the annoying role of pet to near horse status - in the service of our vanity.
Barnacles, tick-eating birds, and remoras had the same idea, but sadly back losers like the whale, rhino and shark. Dumb asses.
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[...] runs contrary to the spread of the killer bees. We discussed US immigrants loosing their jobs to foreign animals, are our insects loosing their jobs to foreign ones too? Another social issue brought up by these [...]
[...] “Animal Allies” [...]