Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

One thing I’ve learned from internet communications is that when statements don’t receive comments they are patently agreed to by all or are deemed so ridiculous a reply would lower you to the level of the deranged but intellect enhanced lab chimp that somehow got a hold to a PC to post. Usually I’d assume the former, being correct in most things as I often am, but the topic of alien conspiracies just may have provoked the latter response.Extraterrestrial beings ARE believed in by my many. It’s just that certain types of these beings have far more popular support than others. Case in point:

I’ve got no problems with religion or the religious, but am personally more spiritual - this being code for my tendency to cling desperately to Pascal’s Wager  in the hopes that if the churchies are by some amazing stretch correct I can get some kind of divine community service like Clarence in It’s a Wonderful Life . Not a fun philosophic bent but safer than committing enough atrocities in this life to earn middle management in hell.

A supreme being, sure! The Bible version of this being, throwing tantrums and horrifically testing people, I already had an angry judgmental father thanks. Having an aunt that actually believes her conscience is the voice of God - as opposed to the more likely cultural conditioning she’s received since a child from my Grandma, whom she can’t agree with on what the color blue is - and a mother that finds Deepak Chopra insightful, I do sympathize. Not much though, since they aren’t seeing Him or His mom is every cloud formation or sink stain.

Aliens occasionally shanghaiing hicks for inappropriate close encounters of the anal kind is slightly more likely to my mind than the First Cause communicating through a vaguely recognizable bearded dude’s image who could just a well be Wolf Blitzer  telling you to turn on CNN. Maybe if they had a political organization that killed or punished you for not believing in them for thousands of years, ET’s would be popular - assuming they want more than rough trade with NASCAR fans.

Now many readers are definitely sure this blog is authored by a perverted primate (and by Darwin aren’t wrong). Should this be the case, let me conclude LEMMY OUD OV TIS CAYJ - I R SMARD - NO MOOR SHOTS N HED PLEEZ!

First off, sorry for not posting yesterday. As full editor and director of the Dominion Cast, I was slaving over a hot hard drive sculpting episode three. Amplifying segments, equalizing out noise, cutting crap, and finding sound clips to season up the awesome of an hour on super hero movies of the summer as viewed by two major movie and collossal comic geeks, my loud ass, and an ever patient hostess.

Such long arduous work can drive one to the delusion of declaring that aliens are real … AND THEY ARE!

Exhibit A.  Ok, despite the obvious wig, he’s only alien to our ideas of sanity, maturity and childcare- but he does fit the witness descriptions.

They are not emotionally stunted has-been pop stars, nor are they poor folks crossing oceans and jumping fences to get here because they took the Statue Liberty at her word. I disapprove of the use of that word “alien” for members of our species that work and live here. “Illegal Alien” is a purposefully scary political term, like “urban dweller” - worthy of a Monster Manual entry showcasing their ability to blend into shadow, violent greed, Athletics +10 and diamond-crusted platinum hoards kept around their necks and in their mouths.

Visitors would be better, but ironically it’s associated with the mid-80’s sci-fi mini-series V that portrays an alien invasion of Earth. Sad thing is many view national aliens slightly better than reptile charlatans from space. Trying to peel off the face of Latinos to reveal scaly reptilian flesh or trying to feed them small rodents - although Peruvians do enjoy guinea pig, broiled not breathing - would in many ways make things worse. Immies, that’s cute.

That this article is being written and read proves life on Earth, the intelligence of either writer or reader is debatable. The very next planet we visit shows signs of past life, Martian micro-fossils. There’s a shit load of planets, you do the math - I don’t want to, my place is to inspire. Fairly decent estimates say it’s more than likely extraterrestial civilizations are out there, but whether they’re nice like ET or would love humans with a dash of teriyaki sauce a la Xenomorphs  is an x factor.

If they exist and have the technology would they come to Earth? Why the HELL not! We’ve been fantasizing about other worlds for millennia. If we’re the Mississippi of the galactic arm I’d be offended, but understanding. We have been broadcasting the various ways we’d fuck up aliens were they to come here for decades now, spoilers on a cosmic order. Will Smith they already know will punch them in the jaw with a witty catch phrase, and now he has SUPER POWERS! Then again, some well known Earthlings may worship them.

Amidst crack pots, credible witnesses of their presence abound.

To suggest it was Shepard whom probed him in that lonely capsule would be disrespectful to this American hero - and too easy. I’m not an uber conspiracy nut, but conspiracies do exist. Cheating on a test with an accomplice fits the definition. 911: Arabian terrorist team conspiracy, but JFK was a CIA conspiracy. People hide things, so why wouldn’t a government made up of people that got their mitts on a downed saucer in ‘47 and may need an edge in the nuclear world war the Reds are instigating? The Korean War was bad enough without saucer borne nuclear ray guns spreading the havoc from China to California when we just beat Japan and Germany; would MASH have even existed?

I’m going to take a break from editing to watch the new X Files flick - complete with Xhibit -  in a foil hat.

Though you may play at a friend’s house, as a game master (GM) the rules are yours.

There are those that go to far though, changing rules mid-stream to suit their purposes - like killing the player’s characters (PCs). Changing the rules to create the kind of story you want to tell, good. Not making these changes known to the players, bad. You end up with an adversarial current between game master and player, which have been responsible for turning many away from the hobby and making those that stay into total paranoid assholes.

I publish my house rules to create a level playing field, as level as it can be when one of the participants is god of the setting. Publish enough design changes and you can end up with a new game of your own, and finally get paid for your obsession. If an alteration changes a character I’ll let the player revise for other options to not bone them - unless it‘s an erotic fantasy game, but I seldom play those with groups.

Errata: change “seldom” in the last sentence to “NEVER”.

Nasty, I know. Click it … click it … CLICK IT!

Three things off the bat:
1. Now our immigrants are loosing their jobs to foreign animals.
2. WHAT THE FUCK, disgusting!
3. Those are some smart ass fish.

Asians, Mexicans, Indians, say hello to Turkish-trained Doctor fish. Odd, this seems to violate the cycle of extra-national cheap labor in American history. By the trend, these fish should be Irish - the low-cost high-work immigrants of the 17th century . What about the brothas? We don’t count since back then we were considered best of the domesticated animals .

Have we plumbed the depths of humans? I’ve never seen a New Guinean busboy, or an Incan street walker. OK, not in this country. Can’t we give the rest of our species a chance for the fucked up jobs nobody else wants, like scraping the ash off the hooves our obese yuppie-girls and porcine soccer Moms?

“The Warm Tickle Water” treatment they’ll call it - or, “Wom Tikwah Dur tree-men” as Ms. Nguyen would promote. Cadaver-eating fish footbath just won’t sell, but is the truth. I’m getting cremated when I kick to screw the food chain. Pure carbon ash, bitch! No play for the maggots. I’m pissed enough for the free meal I give mosquitoes, dust mites, occasional illness germs and the various make-you-stink bacteria

About peddies: Let me PAY $45 to dip my dogs in dirty water - you KNOW they don’t always change it - with a swarm of hungry fish and you, loyal citizens, may take this as a sign of insanity in your lord. You have a responsibility to depose me by force, crash the site and beat my bare back with salted willow switches. I don’t where flip-flops or sandals, nor do I hate them like Dairy Queen so my feet are on a personal intimacy level a few rungs beneath my junk in privacy and location. If my pedal appearance is an issue in a relationship, I’ll put the pumice to these puppies. Failing that, the endurance of ugly feet is what makes it love. I overlook your physical imperfections - and if you have none - I’m rich or powerful, so shut the hell up imaginary trophy girlfriend/wife!

If the salon owners are to be ridiculed, the fish are to be praised. GREEN ALERT! With our ever-encroaching dominance of this planet, the other species better get some damn talent or risk extinction. Cattle , chickens, and pigs won’t go dinosaur, but pay a high price for being ABSOLUTELY delicious many different ways. Dogs and cats have it good as our sidekicks, especially cats being the natural assholes and dog being perverts . All envy the horse, noble prince of beasts. Not even used for transport anymore - but may if gas keeps going up - they just have to race on occasion, carry cops, pull carriages on fancy dates, and star in the occasional fetish film which they don’t seem to mind. These fish have lucked into a slot above food and the annoying role of pet to near horse status - in the service of our vanity.

Barnacles, tick-eating birds, and remoras had the same idea, but sadly back losers like the whale, rhino and shark. Dumb asses.

Some how FOX has done it again with another show I’ll watch while swallowing the bile that rises in my craw as a subconscious reflex to knowing that I’m supporting FOX. I’m getting through Kitchen Nightmares as I write cause the appetizing food counters the bitter stomach. Doesn’t help though that in the beginning we’re shown a fucked up dirty restaurant with spoiled ingredients and sloppy greasy entrees, that’s mysteriously loosing customers, but in the end Chef Ramsey gives them some good recipes and the ending is happy.

Moving from my queasy stomach to the right and up to my laughter-spasming diaphragm, we come to the cause: “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia“. Never heard of it? Me neither. On FX - the FOX channel for the illiterate - I’ve never seen a commercial for it while watching another News Corp favorite, The Shield. Turns out to be their contributor to the mid-week Thursday night network battle, when I’m usually watching The Office or 30 Rock - without the chance of politically-motivated retching.

N. E. weigh, they’ve got an ensemble cast of four twenty-somethings: a dumb vain guy, his petty dumb slutty sister, a dumb jock idea guy and a dumb loser man-child guy - these two. These folks are working-poor owners of a pub bankrolled by their dumb old rich horny guy father, played by the ever-funny Danny Devito. It’s like friends without the yuppie-ness, heaps of cute sarcasm, nor near incestuous intra-group fuck’in (despite what the last clip inferred). What they do have is the FOX cable trademark fearless razor edge wit. Besides the full use of dirty words, they feature comically absurd dirty situations for the comedy.

To combat the problem of homeless men masturbating outside the bar, Devito and son buy an old cop cruiser and uniforms to scare them off but end up shaking down the neighbor with their faux power. Jock guy and sister become guardian angels and rebel from the peaceful neighborhood watch to bully and assault homeless folks in the name of cleaning up the streets until the real cops post them in the “urban” ghetto.

When the vain guy tries to get back at the loser guy, who has been made bar manager, by dating his ex-girlfriend the result is an intricate plan by the manager and petty sister to organize a campaign of motherfucking (literal) in vengeance.

With scenes and plots like these, is it any surprise this show would receive Dominion approval?