Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

Your character can jump over mountains, bend reality like a pretzel, track a fish through water and put mithril underwear on a Balrog — to give’em an atomic wedgie next round! She’s a half-orc rogue named Lewty McBurlybabe, but who is she? Does it matter?

The Great Gygax once said that killing characters makes their players better at playing, which has set a destructive GM vs. Player dynamic in the role-playing tradition. Virtual-PTSD in gamers is a rampant side effect resulting from mimic toilets, poison slathered coins, “random” encounters with inexplicably horrific creatures (a gorilla in a castle dining hall!?!) and other fun hallmarks of the pastime.

A feeling of Us-against-the-World is a good source of camaraderie, but this practice has set the precedent of good player = tactical gamer. To this end, many (not all Mr. Stormwind) neglect characterization in favor of mechanical capability and miss out on the power it yields.

Power you ask? Yes.The Game master wants to tell a story, which as all creative works requires constant inspiration. The hacky route of stealing from other sources is possible but can get tired. You, the players, control (hopefully) a prime source of inspiration, the protagonists themselves. Having a character back story that creates a unique individual with certain goals to actively pursue saves a GM a lot of work — if they‘re open to your input.

I’ve done my part to encourage this willingness to share authorship, now it’s on you.

Where does she come from? What was her child hood like? These answers can highlight the setting a GM has put work into. How did she get into … proactive resource redistribution? What’s her M.O.? Career or family? Where does she want to be in d4, d10, d20 years? These form a clear picture of her behavior and priorities for a game master to plan for.

Adopting a unique speaking voice and mannerisms is icing that’ll established a true presence for her, only adding to the entertainment at the table. Some GMs may feel threatened by this but if you’re clearly trying to contribute to the fun it’ll be accepted. If not, FUCK’EM – no, not literally, find a new one.

“You talk alot about media Digga, but where’s the “Book” category of posts?”

To hell with you, BITCH-MOAN INGRATE! Don’t I cover enough for your net-gorging eyes and gutter-based sense of “humor”?!? DON‘T I, you content-craving COCK-SMOKER?!?!

… I’m sorry. That’s a valid question hypothetical reader, created to introduce self-criticism. Let me explain.

Risking my geek cred, I fully admit that I don’t read as much as I should. Though I’ve got tons of self-help books (surprised?) and should’ve-been-made-into-toilet-paper Star Wars novels in my lexicon, few classics are among them. The latter was mainly to inspire my gaming, which they did by showing me what not to do. Outside of RPG-related material, not a lot of quality.

A friend recommended Dune strongly some years back. After dragging my feet, I read the first book in a week and the rest of the series in two weeks. I even read a few of the lame Herbert’s son trying to wring out the cash cow novels - I loved the series so. Now I’m the type of annoying ass that quotes it whenever it’s remotely relevant: “Go on, talk to her! Fear is the MIND KILLER, mang!”: Bene Gesserit fuck’in Tony Montana-style.

I read Return of the King after seeing the Two Towers to tide me over until the next movie — and resolved to never read Tolkein again. Single sentences a third of a page long, sweet Jesus!

Another bud loaned me Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, which I’ve been slowly chopping away at for a year and a half. It’s a really good book that’s only 382 pages! I’ve had 82 left to finish for MONTHS!! I was never in Special Ed.!1!1

Some acquaintances have recommended the Dresdan Files books as a prelude to the RPG release. I’ve watched all the TV episodes, but likely won’t get the novels — don’t dig the modern magic genre like Buffy and Angel, whose fans can suck a thick stake for all I care. Demon karaoke bar, for shame you Whedon-wannabes. *vomit’s a little in mouth*

With so much media, it’s hard to go with the traditional forms. Compared to movies, television, and the internet; books have horrible animation and suck-ass sound quality. I’ve got to transform these words into meaning, visualize the setting, and turn pages?! Damn, let me stretch first. With an ocean of entertainment at our finger tips, we seem to be trending to cheap quantity over true quality — notice how I say “we” to get preachy. The Fountain Head is far more insightful than a dog humping a cat, but I’ve seen the latter. (HOT!)

I’m in between jobs currently, and cable’s been canceled, so I’ll finish Heinlein and promise to try to hope to endeavor to get some more classy reading done. It is the only way to really maintain genius. Tanstaafl.

I was watching a movie titled Teeth, a light-hearted comedy about an abstaining-until-marriage teenage girl with a carnivorous twat, when it occurred to me just how fucked up Abstinence-only Sex Ed. is.

I guess I can see the rationale of a “Just Say No“ campaign. This was the tactic of first lady Nancy Reagan in the war against drugs of the ’80’s, and some of us remember what a drug-free time that was. This total denial can work for illegal substances since there are plenty of legal drugs you can get (in 40 ounce doses ) and addicts aren’t sexy ( “No, no, no” ) 

To deny the biological momentum from millions of years of evolution — or thousands of years of “Thou shalt be Fruitful and Multiply” for the Creationists, is actually denial of reality in favor of the utopia found up their own asses — which is also forbidden, hypocrites. Those that disobey will be punished, spiritually and it seems LEGALLY  too.

Even masturbation is chastised — your hands are the ENEMY! A shame since the internet is full of “illustrative” videos that encourage or comprehensively demonstrate this birth control method. Sure, the good book says not to spill the seed (use thy sock); then again, at 16 you were married back then and needed to be producing children for Israel — cause the Canaanites  are always beef’in (still are). Trying to live today by these archaic rules is the central problem of all this.

If you teach kids the full story maybe 1 in 4 girls wouldn’t have an STD and the teen pregnancy rate would fade back down. It’s biology, which we still mostly teach in school. These topics in the subject are far more relevant than the slimy chambers of a cow’s stomach (the lactose intolerant don’t give a shit!). A fair and balanced presentation like this popular web site  should be the norm, not the exception.

Keeping kids dumb is a sure way to get more dumb kids — ask the Spears Family

All comic book geeks have participated in the classic “X would hand Y his ass” debates ad nauseum; I myself feel woozy just at the memories of mine. Batman versus Captain American, Superman vs. Silver Surfer, Professor Xavier vs. Commissioner Gordon (the shortest).

I’ve recently seen Iron Man, and following it’s focus on characterization — like all other supers flicks of the last decade — I’m looking at Tony “I’m RICH ,bitch” Stark  versus his DC counterpart Bruce “the most BITTER orphan in the world” Wayne.

I admit to not being a comic geek lord master and ink-stained commander– I’ve got some Spawn and X-Men, but only the movie/TV worthy major figures have hit my radar. Iron Man has never had the Bat’s fame.

Stark, to my mind, was essentially Donald Trump in a Robocop outfit. So, I was therefore much impressed with  Rob Downey’s  portrayal; ironically, sans technical skill and $100 thousands not billions, he IS Tony Stark — no large stretch. Favreau (the very money director) was going for a realistic personality as opposed to Nolan’s focus on Wayne’s depth of character. Although, suspension of disbelief is stretched to the ultra thinness of Hilary Clinton’s facial muscles at the premise of a Republican feeling regret for his war-generated profits.  

Bruce Wayne is an emo-goth that pretends to be like Stark but actually is a brooding ninja 24/7. Since he focuses it into ass-kick’in as opposed to dark poetry is his saving grace. Christian Bale is just about as perfect in this role as Downey is in his. From the scrappy orphan in Empire of the Sun to his stoically passionate Grammaton Cleric in Equilibrium, he seems to have been steering himself towards the bat cave from a young age. What Bale does in between movies is a mystery …

Overall, Iron Man is good a appetizer to the main event in July.

In a fight: Iron Man does repulse, rend, and explodify major hind parts, but Batman is a FUCK’IN NINJA (too hard to kill). Stark can blow up the Bat cave and stately Wayne Manor. You know though that as soon as he rolls over off his pile of coked-out strippers that night Bat’s is gonna to be standing right there.

“That was my FATHER’S HOUSE!!!!!” *splortch* Heart light goes out like E.T.’s.

When I’m in between gigs and have time in the middle of a weekday, I watch The View. After the silly chortles and accusations of faggotry — like I‘ve declared a preferred brand of douche — from dudes, I explain my interest:

A. It’s an ensemble discussion show featuring different personalities discussing news “hot” topics, something that my friends and I often do when together and you may too. See, I liken it to our personal experience to get the common ground for comprehension — slick bastard that am I. Obama cares, shouldnt I?

B. It’s something The MAN doesn’t expect me to do! The View ain’t made for black men of my age range — evidenced by the fact that I can only watch half of an episode (Target’s designer fashion lines and breast pumps hold no appeal; ok, the latter does a little). What is the media telling middle-aged white women– my racial and cultural opposite — that I’m not supposed to know?

Turns out not that much.

Actually, it’s pretty close tothe Sunday Night Smackdown I usually witness, save more diversity and better lighting — and that’s about all the difference. A multi-ethnic, cultural, inter-generational cat-fight on all issues of the day: THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!

You’ve got Barbara Walters , so well renown I needn’t provide a link, as the chief hen matriarch (my white grandma — not in a Barack way). She pecks the others often when not resting in her plush coffin sustained on the blood of virgin boys.

Super lesbian of the left Rosie O’Donell had to leave from her bullying of the cute Republican Liz Hasselbeck (who is very Michelle Malkin like: better seen than heard).Sherri Shepard replaced Star Jones, an exchange of bling-bling egocentrism for socially conservative big chocolate tits on the panel (I approve). Her and Liz form the traditional wing, with all the intellectual insight of the dark ages.

Liberalism also has two big mouthed voices.

Whoopi Goldberg replaced Rosie for the two-for-one role (woman + gay swapped for woman + black), which I welcomed for her innate coolness ( she was on Trek after all) and not being uber-preachy like O‘Donell. Joy Behar I also enjoy for her comedy wit, New York sassiness and keep-it-real attitude (Mama Mia, what a spicy MILF-ball!). Comediennes seem best able to articulate their opinions (though not always) and keep things from getting too heated (in theory).

That they gloriously fail at each makes the funny. Watch it once and you’ll see why it’s been on for a decade, but be sure to bail out at minute 27 — after which it’s shit-no-guy-cares-about or celebrity kiss ass time.