Da Dominion: Home of DOMINIONCAST!

My rediscovery of Star Blazers has been putting sci-fi themes in my head and inspiring new games to come. I‘ve been hammering out some FATE ship design rules on RPG.net this week, which has received praise from role-playing geek net posters. You know you’ve got something great when folks don’t post much in reply — stunned in awe at the elegance of beautiful design — at least that’s how I read it.

Taking a break, I checked out the new movie of the Chronicles of Narnia series, Prince Caspian. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was good for an amped up fairy tale. Gruff-talking English beavers, gnome-like dwarves with their wittle daggers were adorable. Child victims of WWII were getting the chance to fight evil on their scale and learning about themselves in the process. I considered it’s niche to be a Lord of the Rings for kids, albeit with a bit of an edge you get from a lion eating a woman‘s face at the climax.

Prince Caspian was a full fairy tale war story. Narnia obvious grew up into a grim place where feudal plots threaten the wonder and even rats whip ass. Lion Jesus and coldly cruel step-mama-like queen take a backseat to the kids, whom arrive like salty veterans. Night infiltrations, heavy casualties, dueling kings, an actual dungeon siege — DAMN! There was a scene where inexplicably Poseidon was summoned, but I’m sure that was explained in Lewis’ original story. Overall, it makes me want to READ THE BOOK, no small compliment from Lord Lame Library.

Pulse-pounding Pulp is so rare in theaters you forget it’s appeal until it’s back in your face again. Revenge of the Sith was the last great I can name — and it took big G three tries. Teamed up with Spielberg again, Lucas makes movie magic. Can Steven make a bad movie? I defy you to name one, but on this one he really outdid himself to end the series. I shutter to think at how many humanities majors are going to be changed to Archeology. Global stakes, mysterious artifacts of amazing power, jungle chases, anciently exotic locales, BIG FUCK’IN ANTS; or, teaching high school English? I don’t think you can ask for more from an action flick, and not since Rocky Balboa has movie franchise gone out with such quality.

I’ve got EPIC Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Pulp Action all swirling around my skull now vying for creative birth. I’m gonna lay down now.

The Internet was created by Al Gore, the great techno-democrat lord whose enemies even bow to honor him, to share learning across great distances quickly. Since getting fully online, I’ve used it for just that: offering my wisdom to friends and my sagely gaming insights to fellow GM’s seeking aid. Most times my beneficence is repaid with gratitude, as it should be for any FREE service. A few times though I’m reminded that this vast network is home to many arrogant OTAKU ASSHOLES!

With just an avatar and a login name, ordinary people gain the mask of a concealing persona to let their inner evil emanate into the virtual world. I’ve witnessed and been party too more than a few flame wars in my time. I read through them to harvest any witty lines I may want to use in real life, cause unlike Neo I’m a bad ass outside of the Matrix: six foot one and muscularly barrel-chested, ladies may leave you’re contact info on the forums (personal pics MANDATORY).

Wit is never there for the poaching however. 90% of the time the cause of the conflict is over subjects too stupid to waste breath on. The old maxim holds true: “Arguing on the Internet is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you’re still retarded.” From this, many want to carry their malice from the virtual to actual — like this DUMBASS. Conversely, other sick fucks choose real life targets to cowardly attack on the net — like this cruel old BITCH. I hope she enjoys the connections to be made in a Federal prison, and forcibly uploads many fists into her raggedly wrinkled router.

Education, entertainment, recreational escapism, intimate video clips of beautiful woman (OVER 18!) that you don’t have the time - money - or charm to meet in real life: THIS is what Big Al had in mind. Not this cheap ass character assassination.

The movies that we hold as our favorite say a lot about us. I collaborated with a guy on a RPG campaign whose top two movies were T2 followed - closely - by Titan AE. TITAN AE: the predictable animated sci-fi flick with the Mary Sue hero that beat the video game-like bad guy empire to recreate a lost Earth faced by sudden but inevitable betrayals along the way. We didn’t collaborate for long.

In his defense, dude was from rural British Columbia — where I believe they find DVDs randomly by cutting them out of the stomachs of sharks they hunt for protein and oil when not renaming old hobbies. If action movies are your thing, Terminator 2 is a debatable favorite movie (even a fourth is coming, maybe).

The influence that made him LOVE … that other one … led to very Disney like plots in our games, which didn’t fit the gritty sea-themed game we ran. This made me look like DM Doom when it was my turn to narrate. “What kind of horrific monsters were those that you created to destroy us, Digg!?!” Um … ghouls, one of the most common undead monsters in D&D. By leaving the threat unnamed it added a lot more horror to the scene. If I called them ghouls, they’d chuckle and slash right through the lot.

This type of evocative depiction says a lot about my creative style and the movies I love. Topping my action flick list, in no particular order, are movies like Crouching Tiger, The Killer, and the oft-slept on Equilibrium, whose protagonist is the top 3 of highest on-screen kill count in film history. “A master of the Gun kata is an adversary not to be taken lightly.” If you’ve seen this move, your reply to this quote is “Fuck yeah!” Each of those  uses a good amount of drama to enhance the action and make the ass kicking more emotionally satisfying, although many think of drama and action as opposite genres.But of course there is quality to be considered. Soul Food is a drama, but if it’s one of your all time favorites … I’m changing the topic if you’re cute, and SCHOOLING YOU if ya ain’t!

Sip’ in coffee here, despite a sleepless night. Was it the unfathomable troubles of a disturbed mind? Not this time. Get’ in knee deep in some Dominion groupie stank? Nah. Just plain fascination and awe at how hardcore Harry Truman was … No, that wasn’t a punch line.

PBS (Public Broadcast Service — not the Armageddon alarm buzzer, that channel you mistake for A&E, History, Animal Planet or Discovery Channel) has been running a series on the lives of famous recent US Presidents. As opposed to the shit smearing of ’08 candidates, they’ve been giving historical perspective given the precedent-setting race we face. Turns out that despite the media wanting you to be afraid of any and everything, things have been fucked up as bad or worse before. Nazi’s were VERY bad; now it’s synonymous with “asshole”.

Aside from the fundamental impact of Sesame Street on my fetal mind, I was enlightened to the virtues of corporate-free TV as a teenager sentenced to creative punishments for mundane transgressions. Fucking up in math, watch a special on Einstein and write a report. Come home smelling of beer; watch a program about alcoholism and write a report — when your parents are teachers this is the kind of shit you do.

Oh I got yelled at, threatened with military enlistment, and hit too; but these lessons are what stuck. Later I was naturally attracted to the subjects showcased whether about the past, interviews with current names, or sex. (STOP giggling) British comedy and operas didn’t take though — preventing my development into a black Frazier-esque dandy. Dandies aren’t popular in my hood, and I’ve received enough hell for using “-esque”. (“Muthafucka, you ain’t French!”)

Seems like when you need not worry about popularity (ratings) or advertising (crap) you CAN focus on quality. Grown men on the Internet are trying to bone your little girl; watch us make’ em squirm! It is true, but pathetically obvious. This pill freshens your breath but causes random bowel geysers. I’ll just brush twice a day, thanks though. You really don’t miss these sensational appeals when they’re gone. It leaves your full attention for the subject you tuned in for to marinate on the mind. Commercial-less cable shows are the same way, engrossing and interesting — but PBS is free!!! (except for that seasonal fund drive they do, would $5 kill ya cheap-ass?)

If you can stand to miss out on learning which young singer  you’ll forget about in a year — I think you can — get a pure glance at the world beyond your niche.

This blog post has been sponsored by the letters F, U, and the number 69.

From Part 1, we’ve got the design for our Primazons, which has received some feedback from one of the players. Steve suggested the feat Brachiation from D&D’s Complete Adventurer supplement substitute for the Jump bonus, evidently so that these lusty apes can catch him faster. The feat would allow them to move through forest unhindered as long as they stay 20ft above the ground — essentially swinging vine to vine a la Tarzan. This would be 120ft per round compared to the 36ft on the average two Jump checks, not counting the 20ft of running start needed per leap. This tactical advantage and conjuring of cooler images, SOLD! OK, we’ll make the change Steve suggested — why keep lovers apart?

Moving onto culture, we ponder the question, “Why are they like this?” Mythical Amazons always dwelt beyond the “civilized world” and were mainly noted for A. being fighting women and B. having a single tit. Mysteries of the culture left them the bogey women of patriarchal retribution. Let’s look at gorilla culture: one dominant elder male protector with several females and young of both sexes. Primazons are female chief protectors/hunters, so we can deduce males are rare. How rare? So much so that the females are the only apparent sex to outsiders, like Asian women in American porn. For the most extreme male/female ratio, we’ll say that ONE Primazon male lives at any given time — the Primalore. Only when he’s nearing death does he produce a male child — his heir.

Sexual competition is fierce and reversed gender-wise, leading to the lustiness and achieving an exotic feel for them. Ecology dictates that environmental extremes and higher elevations combined with low technology usually means lower population density. Let’s say they live in tribes of 20-40 females led by an elder matron, with life expectancy about mid-thirties so a single cougar per tribe. The tribes are likely in constant conflict given the prevalence of warriors, scarcity of resources and over the Primalore‘s attention. Male mammals of other races are captured as slaves — for labor and we’ll assume … you know, ape sex to tide them over. Loot from those captured is likely prized as well in a primitive way: broken down to be worn for status-symbol ornamentation (these ARE Pulp-styled women).

We’ve got some of their society covered: their economy, organization and defense. Religion is missing. Given the great cultural power of the Primalore, let’s make this his domain - a sheltered and protected male shaman-king. To reflect his role difference, we’ll alter his stats: Strength and Intelligence are normal, Wisdom is +2, Charisma +2 be able to mediate betwen the tribes, they are immune to the Call of the Wild, and doesn’t brachiate.

Keeper of racial lore and arbiter of righteousness, he mates only with members of tribes that make the best offerings to him, sacrifices to their gods, or achieving great feats of bravery and skill. Sacrificing of a strong, youthful, or beautiful male – like Steve may be for them — is considered a magnificent honor. Tribes that produce the next Primalore rise to prominence, and are envied by the other Primazon sororities.

With culture complete enough for our needs all that remains are a few adventure ideas to effectively “sell” the creation to GM’s, sparking imagination: